Category Archives: SEX DATING

Getting Back With An Ex? 14 Things To Consider Before You Do It


Are you considering getting back with an ex?

Many of us find ourselves in this situation post-break-up and wonder if we’ve made the right decision.

Have we just dodged a bullet or made the BIGGEST mistake or our lives?!

The problem is that too many movies and TV shows romanticize getting back with an ex (hello, Ross and Rachel). You’re rooting for the make-believe couple so badly that you forget about all the pain, drama, and messiness that goes with re-igniting that flame.

According to family therapist David Klow, human beings are wired to seek both attachment and new experiences. Hence why the prospect of getting back with an ex is so appealing—it ticks both of these boxes. On top of that, the alternative can be far less attractive. Swiping endlessly on dating apps, going on crummy dates, and meeting crappy guys who don’t even come close to what you’re looking for.

Getting to know someone brand new takes a lot of time. And there’s never any guarantee that things will work out. So your mind starts thinking, surely it makes more sense to give things another shot with the ex than start afresh? You already know each other intimately, and maybe things will work out the second time around?

Maybe they will, and maybe they won’t.

According to a survey by the Associated Press, 41% of people have gotten back together with an ex at some point. So you wouldn’t be in bad company if you did, but whether it works out or not is an entirely different issue.

There are so many factors to consider before you jump back into a relationship that you consciously ended.

Is getting back with an ex ever a good idea?

I’m not going to sit here and say this is never a good idea because there are cases where a bit of time and space apart is all you both need to realize that you want to build a life together.

However, you must go into this with your eyes wide open.

Why do you want to get back with your ex?

How did you leave things, and is your ex open to reconciliation?

What went wrong the first time, can it be resolved, and are you both willing to do what it takes to work through that?

Have you given yourself enough breathing space to properly reflect and see whether you’re a good match?

“As long as there aren’t serious issues such as abusive behavior in the relationship and each partner really cares about the other, a second chance at a successful relationship could work.”—Noelle Nelson, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Dangerous Relationships.

Here are 14 things you must consider BEFORE getting back with an ex.

1. Do you really want him back, or are you just heartbroken?

woman heartbroken

We all know how devastating and emotionally rough a breakup can be. It’s normal to feel like you’re grieving (even though the person hasn’t died) because you’re experiencing the loss of having this person as a constant rock in your life.

This can leave you feeling a rollercoaster of emotions. You might be lonely, sad, feeling guilty (if you broke up with him), angry, resentful, lost, and lacking self-confidence and self-love.

And when you’re feeling lonely and heartbroken, like your world just isn’t going to be sunny again, it can lead you to make poor choices that aren’t good for you in the long run.

So, ask yourself, do you really want him back, or are you just trying to avoid going through the pain of a breakup? Do you genuinely miss him, or do you miss having someone there with you when you wake up and go to sleep?

If you’re struggling with the breakup, there are plenty of things you can do to make yourself feel better, including:

  • Cutting all contact with him
  • Letting yourself grieve
  • Clearing out anything that reminds you of him
  • Taking care of your body (eating well and exercising daily)
  • Spending time with friends
  • Working on YOU

2. Have you given yourself enough time and space to make a rational decision?

It’s normal that there are certain things you will miss about being in a relationship. Things like dinners out, Netflix and chill nights in with pizza, and good sex with someone you’re comfortable with and who knows exactly what you want.

Put all those things aside for a moment and think about whether you’ve had enough time apart to make a clear and considered decision about getting back with your ex.

From the moment you start considering the possibility, give yourself a week to mull it over. Once that’s up, give yourself another week. And once you get there, give yourself—yes, you guessed it—ANOTHER week. Keep doing this until you reach a healthy amount of time (at least two months).

This time will allow you to see your relationship clearly. It will also give you the space needed to think about what you need and whether this is right for you.

Don’t rush yourself out of fear of them moving on and dating someone else. If you’re both on the same page and wanting to make it work, he will still be there when you’re ready to make a decision.

3. What do you want in a relationship?

getting back with an ex

The time and space you have on your own right now are perfect for doing some much-needed self-reflection.

Who are you?

How have you grown since starting and ending things with your ex?

What do you want in a relationship now? Is this different from what you wanted previously?

Was there anything significant missing in your relationship the last time, and can this be resolved the second time around?

Many things can easily be resolved as long as you’re both willing to put in the work. For example, you can strengthen your communication, appreciate each other more, and make sure you devote more time to your relationship.

However, other things are not as easy to fix—big goals and values. Like maybe one of you wants to get married while the other doesn’t. Or perhaps you want to take a job abroad, but your partner is adamant they want to stay put.

What’s important is you both know what you want and what you’re not willing to compromise on.

This is part of my Little Love Step #2: Creating your love vision. When you take the time to figure out the man and relationship that is compatible with the future you want, you’ll be able to attract the right man and avoid the wrong relationships.

4. If this was your best friend, what advice would you give her?

One exercise that can be helpful when thinking about getting back with an ex is to pretend your best friend is the one going through this right now.

What advice would you give her?

Would you tell her to take a bit more time and see how she feels once she’s stopped hurting? Or would you tell her to jump right in, because what does she have to lose?

The answers to these questions depend on the relationship in question. If you knew they were having lots of arguments, and you constantly had to pick up the pieces, you’d be more likely to remind her of the bad times and ask her to think about it carefully.

So I invite you to do the same for yourself.

5. What’s your primary motive for getting back with your ex?

I see a lot of women considering getting back with an ex primarily out of fear of being on their own and being single again.

Even if the relationship clearly wasn’t healthy or functional, they would rather be miserable in a couple than miserable on their own.

But what I need you to know is if you dislike being single so much that you would rather settle being with someone who isn’t good for you, then there are bigger issues at play here that you need to address before even thinking about being in a relationship.

If you allow fear to dictate your choices, you will shrink a little more each day as a woman until you wake up one day and realize you’ve completely lost who you are. I understand that being single—especially after being with someone for so long—is terrifying. But this can also be a beautiful opportunity to rediscover yourself, have new experiences, and create a life that brings you real joy.

So before getting back with an ex, be honest about what your primary motive is. And if it’s rooted in fear, this is not a good reason to do it!

6. Make a timeline of your relationship

In my experience, women are in danger of allowing their first impression of people to cloud their judgment of a person’s true character. So, even if there is an orchard of red flags, you may end up clinging onto a vision of how you want things to be or how they used to be instead of how they are.

One way to get a more accurate picture of your relationship is to make a timeline. Write down all the significant events—good and bad. Get them all out until you have nothing else to say.

When you’re done, read this back to yourself. Then ask yourself if this man and relationship are really what you want. Is your ex who you think they are or have you been living with rose-tinted glasses on the whole time?

7. Make a list of pros and cons of getting back with your ex

It may feel like you’re being pulled in different directions right now.

Part of you thinks you broke up for a reason and should leave things in the past and move on. While the other part of you wonders, what if we gave it one more shot and ended up living happily ever after?

Writing an old-school list of pros and cons can help bring you clarity when you feel like this. The act of listing out the positives and negatives of being and not being with your ex will move you into a rational space that can help you decide.

8. Does your ex make your life better or worse?

couple fighting

How do you feel now that your ex is gone? Is your life better or worse?

This can be difficult to answer if your breakup is fresh and you’re still feeling lonely and missing him in your life.

So, think back to when you were still together. Did the good days outweigh the bad? Were there more positives about your relationship than negatives? Did your ex make you a better version of yourself or a lesser version of yourself?

All relationships will have their ups and downs, but generally, you should be experiencing good days 90% of the time. And your partner should undoubtedly improve your life instead of creating more conflict or frustration.

Don’t consider getting back with an ex unless he, hand on heart, made your world brighter when he was in it.

9. Are you ready and willing to forgive?

Whatever happened in your relationship—lying, cheating, hurtful comments, etc.—you must both be willing to let the past go and forgive. That means not rehashing old wounds when you next argue and committing to leaving the past in the past and starting a blank slate.

For example, if there were trust issues between you before, unless you’re willing and able to fully trust your partner this time around, things are unlikely to end well. Maybe your partner forgets to text you when he’s coming home late after going out with the guys, and that leads you down a negative spiral wondering if he’s really with the guys or not telling you the whole truth. When he does finally make it home, you might end up blowing up at him because you’re thinking of his past mistakes.

This doesn’t mean you can’t have healthy disagreements, but it does mean you have to handle conflicts in a calm and mature way without trying to score points.

There are certain things that you won’t be able to forgive, so it all comes down to if you feel able to move forward or not.

10. Are you able to fix what went wrong the first time?

getting back with an ex

Can a broken relationship ever be fixed?

Getting back with an ex won’t work if you cannot fix what caused the breakup the first time around. Without taking this critical step, you’ll end up going round in circles and experiencing the same issues again until you address them.

So, are you able to fix what went wrong? And if so, are you both willing to put the work in to do it? Little Love Step #6 of my methodology is to set clear boundaries as a couple to set your relationship up for long-term success.

11. What happened while you were on a break?

Before you commit to getting back with your ex, it’s essential to have a chat about what happened while you were broken up.

For example, did you date anyone else? Did you sleep with anyone else?

You don’t have to go into details about who, what, and where (unless, of course, it involves a mutual friend, in which case, you DO need to give details). But make sure everything is out in the open to avoid any skeletons coming out the closet later down the line.

12. Trust your intuition

We don’t do this enough as human beings, but our intuition is a powerful tool—especially for women.

When was the last time you checked in with yourself and that little voice in the back of your head or the whispers of your heart?

Tune in to your intuition and allow it to guide you in making a decision. And if you decide getting back with your ex is the right choice for you, make sure you continue to trust your intuition along the way. If something ever feels wrong, trust and act on that inner feeling—it won’t steer you wrong and will only grow louder until you listen to it.

13. Not everyone will be fans of you getting back with an ex

friends picnic

If you decide to try round two with your ex, be prepared for your friends and family to be on a different page.

This is especially true if you have often gone to them for advice during rows, you’ve spoken negatively to them about your ex, or they’ve seen you upset during the lowest moments of the relationship. They will remember all the bad things and may remind you of them.

As long as you trust your family and friends, remember that they are looking out for you and only want the best for you. Avoid being defensive. Listen to what they have to say and acknowledge their concerns. Tell them you appreciate their advice, explain why you’re making this choice, and promise to keep them updated.

14. People don’t usually change

A 2013 study found almost half of all couples get back together after breaking up and that the couples who do get back together assume their partner will have changed for the better.

Why on earth would you ASSUME something like that?

Sure, it’d be great if that were the case, but you’re in for a shocker if your partner is the same as before.

The truth is, while some people can and do change, most people are more likely to stay the same. It’s so easy for couples who already know each other to slip back into old, negative patterns. So if there are certain things you cannot accept about this guy, it’s worth rethinking getting back with him.

Conclusion: The only person who can make the right choice is you

I could give you a ton more advice than what you’ve read here, you could speak to all your friends and even work with a dating coach. But at the end of the day, you know yourself and your ex, and only you can decide whether to give things another shot.

But remember to be completely honest with yourself. If you do want to get back with him, make sure it’s for the right reasons.

Are you thinking about getting back with an ex, or have you ever done so in the past? Tell me all about it in the comments below!

getting back with an ex

The post Getting Back With An Ex? 14 Things To Consider Before You Do It appeared first on Love Strategies.



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How Many Dates Before Sex? Here’s What You Need To Know

How Many Dates Before Sex? Here’s What You Need To Know


Have you ever questioned how quite a few dates you should go on just before obtaining sexual intercourse?

Let’s say you’re on a date with a gentleman, and it’s swiftly shaping up to be one of the ideal dates you have ever had. The sexual chemistry is off the charts. You are considering about what he may be like in mattress. Hell, you feel this guy could probably be the A single.

But then will come the snag.

You’re searching for something long-time period and not just a informal hookup.

Will he get the mistaken idea?

Will I wreck my shot at a romantic relationship by sleeping with him way too before long?

The shorter remedy is, you must do regardless of what you want to do, and there isn’t a rigid established of rules you really should be pursuing when it comes to sexual intercourse. The most vital issue is that you (and your future self) really feel very good about the decisions you make.

But chances are you discovered your way right here since you’re not seeking for the short solution. So I’m going to split this down for you in much more depth in this write-up.

There is no “right” initial time to have intercourse.

We have all been on the getting conclusion of combined messages when it comes to sex:

Do not have sexual intercourse until eventually you’ve been on at the very least a few dates.

If you go household with him on the very first day, you are not girlfriend substance.

You have to make him wait for a month, minimum amount.

If it feels appropriate, have sexual intercourse. Why deny your body what it needs?

So, which 1 is it?

Irrespective of the various personalized guidelines persons have for their sexual intercourse life, keep in mind you are not them. So don’t hold by yourself accountable to other people’s guidelines.

And if you have your possess guidelines relating to intercourse that come to feel right, that’s excellent. But if you end up breaking them, never judge your self for it. If the chemistry is there and you want to have sexual intercourse, go for it.

The fact is, there is hardly ever a “right” time to have intercourse with another person new. Each individual female is unique, just about every person is distinctive, and just about every marriage is diverse.

Really don’t fret about what other persons could possibly feel or say about you. Your options are your have. You really don’t have to clarify on your own to everyone.

What I will say is, make certain you’re owning sex for the “right” good reasons.

Here’s what I indicate by that.

You need to only have intercourse if you definitely want to, and not because of ulterior motives.

That implies really do not have intercourse in the hopes it will prevent him from dating other individuals and commit to you. Really do not have sexual intercourse due to the fact you really feel like you have created him wait long ample presently or due to the fact you sense pressured to.

Acquire that step when you feel fully prepared, and make the choice together.

How many dates right before intercourse?

Can I have sexual intercourse on a initial day?

https://www.youtube.com/observe?v=uiXTvriax7o

There was a time when persons employed to wait around right up until they were married in advance of obtaining sexual intercourse for the first time. Even though some people today still exercise this, most individuals are not waiting around this lengthy to do the deed.

On the other hand, sleeping with anyone on a first day is continue to found as taboo by society, and most of the stigma is unfairly directed toward girls.

“I believe men and women stay clear of intercourse on the initial date because of to previous, patriarchal ‘wisdom’ that females need to make adult males work for sex and typically hold off it,”—Jenna Birch, writer of The Adore Hole.

Birch states this is toxic because it perpetuates the out-of-date belief that males are the only kinds who receive enjoyment from sexual intercourse. It keeps women of all ages disconnected from their sexual energy and encourages them to “safeguard” their sexuality.

The base line is, you can absolutely have sex on a very first date—if you want to. And you should not feel any guilt or shame all-around that.

But keep in mind, sex improvements items.

As tough as you try out and persuade on your own that absolutely nothing will alter just after sleeping with a guy, it constantly does

And it’s not for the reason that of something you’re doing (or not executing)—it’s for the reason that of the way your entire body reacts as a woman when you sleep with anyone new for the first time.

Two major issues come about:

  1. Your entire body creates the “bonding hormone” oxytocin.

This is the exact same hormone that will get produced when a mom is nursing her toddler. If the sex is in particular excellent, you can count on your entire body to produce oxytocin. You really do not have a say in it!

In contrast, the dude you slept with will generate a lot more testosterone, which is identified as the “hunting hormone.” That means unless he is adamant he desires to be with you, he is possible to go on searching, i.e., sleeping with other individuals.

  1. After the bonding hormone kicks in, you are possible to quit making an attempt to sleep with other people today.

Perhaps it’s simply because of a subconscious concern of obtaining expecting, but most girls typically really don’t like sleeping with multiple males at the identical time. As a final result, you may possibly accidentally finish up turning out to be monogamous to this guy you slept with.

This means you have essentially taken yourself out of the courting recreation for a person who most likely has not specified you any indication they want to dedicate to you.

Probabilities are, this is not where you want to be!

In my seven little appreciate steps to attracting a man and the relationship of your desires, we display you the importance of holding your alternatives open up and creating absolutely sure he is the 1 pursuing you.

Tread cautiously if you are hunting for a thing severe.

If you are wanting for a extensive-phrase relationship rather of a informal hookup, ready to have sex may perhaps perform in your favor.

A 2014 analyze identified that ready to initiate sexual intimacy in single interactions typically had a additional optimistic consequence in the very long operate, as opposed to owning sex on the initially day or shortly after.

Acquiring sexual intercourse on the first date can propose that sexual intercourse is far more significant to you than anything else, which includes the probable of building a lengthy-expression connection.

Additionally, it does not give you considerably of a opportunity to look at if the male in query is on the very same site as you. If neither of you are searching for anything additional than enjoyable, that is terrific. But if you want extra than he does or vice versa, that is the place it starts off to get messy, and thoughts can be damage.

On prime of that, if you’re obtaining genuinely great sexual intercourse, it can cloud your judgment and stop you from looking at items clearly. It can make it much more complicated to prevent looking at that person even if you know they’re not very good for you.

My tactic? The 10-hour rule.

I often instruct the “10-hour rule” to the ladies I mentor. That means you should really devote at minimum 10 hrs with a dude (sober!) right before considering about sleeping with him if you’re seeking for a romance.

Why?

Simply because this offers you time. Hopefully, you will have been on a few dates with this man or woman, likely around the system of a thirty day period (at minimum). You get a far better sense of who this person is and how stable and trusted he is.

That is rough to do after assembly anyone the moment or 2 times.

If you are hunting for a fully commited romantic relationship, it’s essential to believe of intercourse much more strategically like this. Not in a way to regulate the other man or woman, but to raise the prospects of this doing the job out the way you want it to.

couple in love

What if the very best element of sex is not essentially the sexual intercourse?

What the f*ck do you indicate, Adam?! Sexual intercourse is Wonderful.

I know, I know, hear me out on this one particular, all right?

What if the genuine sexual intercourse portion is not what can make intercourse so fantastic?

What if it is the sexual chemistry and the creating of all that stress main up to sex?

It’s possible it is the assumed of sleeping with this particular person and the alluring anticipation and excitement that happens ahead of?

My principle is, what can make sex so damn thrilling with someone new for the first time is the dance that happens prior to.

It’s having to know them as a result of deep, intimate discussions. The again and forth flirting and steamy makeout periods. Peeling one more layer back each individual time you meet up with.

Sometimes, first date intercourse can be wonderful, and courting apps have made it less complicated than at any time to hookup in this way.

But when you do this, you overlook out on that establish-up, that dance, and that exclusive psychological connection with somebody. It is variety of like dishonest on your own out of the whole expertise.

I imagine truly great sex comes from trusting a person, feeling comfortable with each other, and emotion it on all stages of your currently being relatively than just in your physical physique.

You know you’ve built the suitable choice when you wake up the early morning soon after, and it feels just as good and correct as it did the evening just before.

how many dates before sex

What’s the third day rule?

Intercourse and the City’s Charlotte popularised the “three date rule” for owning sex with a new lover. The plan staying, you have to go on at minimum three dates with a male before getting things to the bedroom.

But a U.S. analyze identified that the regular human being would truly wait around until the eighth day prior to possessing intercourse. Adult males normally consider sexual intercourse is proper immediately after date 5, although gals want to hold out until finally date 9. Only 30% of adult men and 8% of women of all ages consider intercourse really should happen inside of the initially 3 dates.

My assistance? Have intercourse for the appropriate factors:

When you have an understanding of what sexual intercourse means to you.

Empowered sexual intercourse has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of sexual intercourse you’re possessing, how quite a few orgasms you are possessing, or how sizzling the guy you’re sleeping with is.

Empowered sexual intercourse is all about figuring out your boundaries (bodily and psychological) and obtaining the confidence to share these with your companion.

Right up until you know what sex signifies to you, you’re not completely ready to have sex.

When you do not have unrealistic expectations.

1 of the largest errors gals make is possessing intercourse with a guy too quickly in the hopes it will make him more critical about her. As I stated previously, this will not work and can normally have the reverse outcome.

If you’re praying intercourse will press your male into committing, turn into special, or slipping in really like with you, consider once again.

This is not a superior cause to have sexual intercourse!

When you know where by you are.

Numerous girls are afraid to confess to a person they want a marriage or be the one to begin the “what are we” discuss out of panic of hunting desperate.

But there is absolutely nothing determined about seeking to know wherever you stand. And the appropriate dude will want you to truly feel snug and on the very same web page as him.

So, if becoming exceptional is important to you before sleeping with a man, make sure you converse about it. Until finally you have had the talk, you should really presume he’s relationship other people—and you should really be far too!

If he can’t give you what you want and will need, which is okay. It’s time to say Next and transfer on.

couple kissing

When you really feel snug with awkwardness.

It’s not attractive to talk about how uncomfortable sex can be with another person new, but let us be sincere, it is Completely awkward.

I’m not indicating it can’t be excellent, but probabilities are there will be some fumbling and limbs flailing in unusual instructions. That is mainly because you are nevertheless receiving to know each other and figuring out what the other individual likes.

This is exactly where getting snug with each and every other comes into play. It makes it possible for you to permit your guard down, be susceptible with this human being, and be your authentic self.

If you’re nevertheless in the phase where by you want to glance perfect at all occasions and are presenting a polished variation of oneself to him, then possibly you really should wait in advance of getting the up coming move.

When you’re ready to talk about training safe and sound sex.

Did you know that 1 in each three or 4 grownups has an STI?

I know, I know, this is not sexy both. But that is why we have gotta talk about these points!

Practising harmless intercourse is so essential. Remember to prioritize your wellness. Whether or not you are on beginning handle or you’ve arrived at menopause, Always demand that he wears a condom.

And really do not be frightened to request him about his sexual historical past just before possessing sex with him. If he’s not ready to have this dialogue with you, then he doesn’t should have to have sex with you. Period.

When you can photograph the morning just after.

It is simple to get caught up in the minute when you’re acquiring a superior time with a guy. Perhaps you have had a few of drinks, the mild is framing his chiseled jaw beautifully, and you think to yourself, “what the hell, let’s do it!”

But test and look previous the second. Think about how you’ll sense afterward. You really don’t want to sense like you made a blunder or disrespected your boundaries.

If you think you are not likely to sense great after possessing sex, which is almost certainly a sign to wait a minor for a longer time. Don’t forget, there are no legal rights or wrongs here.

When you trust him.

The act of sexual intercourse demands deep vulnerability. This is why shared have faith in is critical.

You do not want to sense not comfortable, unsafe, or judged. Sexual intercourse need to really feel fantastic. It must experience thrilling, passionate, sensual, and safe.

If you really do not think you can trust this person, then consider waiting. When you know you can belief him to treat you perfectly all through and right after intercourse, the encounter will be a much a lot more constructive 1.

couple hugging

You can—and should—verbalize if you want to hold out to have intercourse.

If you are nervous or nervous about having sexual intercourse with another person new for the initially time, which is normal. Culture from time to time tries to explain to us it is not that large of a deal, but the reality is it is.

If you’re not 100% absolutely sure you want to have sex, then wait. And never be frightened to connect this to your spouse.

Say you’re in the center of a makeout session, and items are having pretty steamy. It’s obvious he wants to choose things more, but you are not ready to. Say one thing like, “I’m seriously captivated to you and like where this is heading, but I want to get matters a tiny slower and not get forward of myself right here.”

Rely on your intuition. If it doesn’t really feel ideal in your body, quit or sluggish points down a notch. Even if you stated sure, it is your ideal to improve your mind at any level.

Like I claimed, if he respects you, then he’ll respect your boundaries and want to wait around until eventually you experience relaxed and prepared.

Conclusion: Be correct to your self.

The only rule you ought to have when it comes to sex is to stay true to who you are and what you want and need.

That might signify you rest with a dude on a initially day, or you just take 6 months or extra in advance of you truly feel ready. Do not be concerned about what any individual else is saying or doing—your sex everyday living is none of their company, and you never need to have to transform who you are to in shape anyone else’s expectations.

How a lot of dates do you normally wait around for before acquiring sex with a new partner? And does this sense appropriate for you?

Enable me know in the remarks under.

how many dates before sex

PS. If you are ready to start off producing adult men go after you for like, then join me on this free webinar to explore the 3 ways to setting up psychological attraction – Sign-up here to get started off (it is 100% absolutely free).



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5 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Love You [Walk Away]


Are you in a relationship and struggling to figure out if this guy really loves you?

When you’re crazy in love with someone, it can be tricky to see your relationship clearly.

It’s like you’re walking around with blinders on.

But there’s a reason you’re here.

Something feels off. You’re not totally convinced he’s fully invested in you or your relationship.

And you deserve to know where you stand.

It’s not fair to live your life in limbo, bouncing back and forth from “he loves me” to “he doesn’t care.”

I’m gonna be honest. There are some obvious signs that make it clear he doesn’t love you.

But you have to be ready to hear them, take them on board, and be confident enough in your value to walk away.

Here’s where it gets tricky, though.

He might be saying all the right things he knows you want to hear.

But words are easy and cheap.

What do his actions tell you?

How does he make you feel?

These are the important questions to ask yourself if you want to know how a guy truly feels about you.

If it’s clear he has lost interest and doesn’t love you, then it’s time to say it with me, ladies:

NEXT.

You’re better than a guy who’s half-assing it.

You deserve real, committed love.

And if you’re ready, I’d love to help you find it.

If you’re still unsure if his love is real, drop me a comment below and tell me what’s going on.

I’ll break it down for you and help you figure out what’s going on.

The only catch is, I will always be 100% honest. So be prepared for the truth.

Your Coach,

 

5 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Love You [Walk Away]

signs he doesn't love you

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“I Miss Him” – Do You Really? Or Do You Just Miss The Idea Of Him?


Have you ever broken up with someone, found yourself alone, and thinking, I miss him?

There’s no denying that breakups can hurt like hell.

Whether you were with someone for a few months or years, or you never even defined the relationship. Spending lots of time with someone you’re attracted to and see a future with creates a bond.

To have that broken sucks.

It can be even worse when the person in question did something to break your trust and shattered your heart. And there may be a part of you wondering, why do I miss him?

Regardless of what happened, breakups just hurt. A study found that the same areas of the brain are active when a cocaine addict withdraws from a drug and when heartbroken people see pictures of their former partners. This suggests that the way we experience love is similar to an addiction.

So you’re not crazy for feeling the way you do or missing him.

In this article, I want to help you understand why you might be missing him (or if you simply miss the idea of him) and how to stop missing him and move on with your life today.

Because you deserve to be happy on your own and eventually find your way to an amazing man who is the perfect match for you.

“I miss him.” Or do you miss the you that you were with him?

Even if you were the most fierce, independent woman before you met the guy in question, being in a relationship changes you.

The more time you spend together, the more you get used to having that person around and being in each other’s lives.

Chances are you had a certain routine, he was your go-to guy for making plans with, and maybe you depended on him a little (even if you don’t like to admit that). This is normal.

But ask yourself, do I miss him, or do I miss the familiarity and comfort of having him around?

Do I miss him, or do I miss that woman I was when I was with him?

There may be a part of you thinking you can’t possibly be happy without him, regardless of whether he was a good match for you.

But do you really believe this?

Are you going to pin all your happiness on someone else?

Remember, he is just one guy out of billions.

“I miss him.” Chances are you only miss the good times

couple fighting

After a breakup, we often focus on all the fantastic qualities of our ex and the good memories.

Why do we do this?

Because our mind likes to f*ck with us, that’s why!

You’re replaying the sweetness of your first date, the first “I love you,” the romantic gestures, and how great he looks with his shirt off.

But have you stopped to remind yourself of the bad times?

All relationships have ups and downs. If you broke up, chances are there were some compatibility issues, unresolvable arguments, and red flags.

Did he ever ignore your calls or texts, bail on you last minute, or treat you like an option?

Did he ever disrespect you, make you feel small, or fight dirty?

The next time you find yourself replaying the highlight reel, remind yourself of the not-so-good times too.

He wasn’t perfect. The relationship wasn’t perfect. And there’s a good reason why you’re not together right now.

“I miss him.” Or do you miss who you wanted him to be?

Sometimes we desperately want someone to be who we want them to be, which leads to us fabricating an idea of who they are in our heads. This is common when you first meet someone and you’ve just started dating.

You ignore what’s really in front of you and let your imagination run wild. You think about how beautiful your future will be together. How you’ll fall in love, get married, have beautiful kids, and live happily ever after.

Before you know it, you’ve dreamt up a new guy who is worlds apart from the one sitting in front of you.

You miss the red flags or choose to ignore them. You let little things slip that you probably shouldn’t. And you fell for the guy you needed or wanted him to be. But if you’re honest with yourself, he probably wasn’t that guy.

You don’t miss him; you just miss the amazing man you wanted him to be.

Once you realize this, you can let go of him and find a man who is actually amazing. I promise he does exist.

“I miss him.” Or are you afraid he’s going to move on with another woman?

Do you miss him, or are you afraid he’s going to move on with an amazing woman who’s not you?

Maybe you’re also worried that he’s going to finally become the man you wanted him to be, and this woman possesses the magical power to change him.

What does she have that you don’t? Why couldn’t he be that guy for you?

There’s no getting around it—seeing your ex move on is tough. Especially if he moves on before you do, or it happens fast.

But moving on is a natural step after breaking up. And who he dates or how he behaves in a new relationship is none of your business—so try not to consume yourself with it.

You’ll only make yourself feel crappy if you start comparing yourself to other women or dwelling on your ex.

Wish him and his new partner nothing but health and happiness. I know this is hard to do, but it’s the only way to make peace with the situation and allow yourself to move on.

“I miss him.” Or are you just afraid of being alone?

I miss him

As we grow up and get older, it can sometimes feel like everyone around us is moving on with their lives. Everyone apart from us.

Maybe your friends are all buying houses, getting married, and having babies. Even if they’re not there yet, they might all be coupled up, and you’re the only one who’s single.

Again, this is the comparison trap rearing its ugly head. And it can trick you into thinking you miss your ex when you’re just afraid of being alone.

If this is a genuine fear for you, it’s a sign that you need to embrace being on your own for a while. Get to love your own company. Live a whole life on your own. Get to the point where you’re so happy and content and in love with your life that you don’t need a relationship.

Be patient. Trust that everything is happening for you, not to you.

“I miss him even though he treated me badly.”

Was the guy in question emotionally unavailable?

Did he ever lie to you or play mind games? Did he cheat on you?

And you find yourself wondering, why do I miss him when he treated me so poorly?

Maybe, in the beginning, he was perfect. He promised you the world and more. He said and did all the right things and made you think you’d found the one. Maybe you had a super intense, passionate honeymoon phase in your relationship, and you couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have finally found someone so incredible.

And that’s when it starts. He gets hot and cold. It feels like he’s pulling away without an explanation. You ignore the red flags because you don’t want to lose him. But the reality is, you never had him in the first place.

This is why toxic partners can be the most difficult to get over. You’re still hung up on that guy at the start who seemed perfect. Maybe you even start blaming yourself for his change in behavior and convince yourself you weren’t enough for him.

But here’s the truth: he didn’t change. He was always an asshole. You just had blinders on at the beginning.

You deserve a guy who loves and respects you and would never dream of playing games or intentionally hurting you. Remember this next time you find yourself missing him.

And if you seem to keep going for emotionally unavailable guys and finding yourself in toxic relationships, consider working with a dating coach or therapist. This will help you discover the root cause of your actions and help you form empowering new habits.

“I miss him and want him back.” Okay… why?

Okay, so you miss him.

It’s time to ask yourself why.

Do you think this guy is your soulmate and you’re meant to be together?

Or is it more because you feel lonely, you worry you’ll end up alone for the rest of your life, and you’re convincing yourself he’s someone he’s just not?

Was the relationship happy, healthy, and thriving?

If the answer is no, would you rather stay in an unhappy relationship that isn’t working or find a happy one that works?

If part of you still prefers the comfort of being with someone who isn’t good for you instead of being on your own, it’s time to do some inner work.

You have to work on being happy and content on your own. Only then can you build a solid, loving partnership with someone else.

Here’s how to stop missing him and move on with your life today.

1. Don’t contact him

The fresher the breakup, the stronger the urge to contact him will be. But you’ve got to be strong and resist the temptation.

Keeping in contact with him or checking up on what he’s doing will only keep him at the front of your mind. You’ll keep yourself trapped in an emotional, vulnerable state.

I recommend blocking him on all social media and deleting his number, like, NOW.

Going no-contact will help you rebuild your strength, confidence, and self-worth.

This is the first step to moving on.

2. Write an unhappy list

It’s time to stop focusing on the good times and memories and start reminding yourself of the bad times.

I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but I want you to remind yourself that the relationship wasn’t perfect. When you recall all the painful memories and red flags you may have ignored, you’ll wonder why you’re even missing him at all.

So, write a list of all the things you didn’t like about this guy and all the things that made you unhappy in the relationship.

Next time you miss him, re-read this list.

3. Let yourself grieve

As I’ve mentioned already, it’s normal to feel the way you’re feeling and miss having this person in your life. To pretend like nothing happened and everything is okay is the wrong approach because you’ll only be denying and suppressing your true feelings.

So, give yourself permission to grieve this loss. Allow yourself to feel a rainbow of emotions: sadness, anger, pain, resentment, and loneliness.

You’ll have good days and not-so-good ones. Sometimes you’ll feel angry or sad and feel like you have no reason to feel that way.

This is normal. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

4. Be committed to moving on

You can’t fully move on from someone unless you truly want to.

So be honest with yourself. Are you giving yourself the best chance of healing and moving on? Are you fully committed to moving on, or are you secretly hoping he’ll come running back and tell you he made a terrible mistake?

I hate to break it to you, but this kind of stuff usually just happens in movies.

Chances are, he’s not coming back.

If you were meant to be, things probably wouldn’t have ended.

It’s time to commit to moving on with your life to bigger and better things.

5. Journal

I miss him

Dozens of studies have shown that journaling can increase happiness, help you achieve goals, heal from trauma, and boost aspects of your physical and mental health.

Journaling can be very therapeutic and clear out any unresolved feelings or memories and start healing. You may not want to share certain things with anyone else, and no matter what time of day it is, your journal will always be there for you.

Plus, as you begin to heal and move on, you can start journaling about the new experiences and adventures you’re having.

Invest in a beautiful new journal today as a symbol of your fresh start.

6. Get support from family and friends

You likely have people in your life who care about you, who know what’s going on in your love life.

Don’t be afraid to lean on these people in your time of need. They might not have all the answers, but simply keeping you company and listening to you can make a huge difference.

And depending on how intense your previous relationship was, you might not have seen certain people as much as you wanted to. Now is the time to reconnect with those people and nurture those friendships.

7. Give yourself as much time as you need

I wish there were a magic potion you could drink that would miraculously stop you from missing this guy overnight. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work this way!

Moving on and healing takes time, and this will be different depending on who you and how deep your relationship was.

Be patient and give yourself as much time as you need.

8. Learn to enjoy spending time with yourself

After a breakup, you’re readjusting to being on your own again. And although this can feel lonely at first, it’s a beautiful invitation to fall back in love with your own company.

When was the last time you took yourself on a date? Do you even know who you are today or what you like or want?

Enjoy all this alone time you have now, and remember that it won’t feel lonely if you enjoy your own company.

9. Plan things to look forward to

women friends

One of the best ways to move on from someone is to give yourself plenty of other fun things to focus on.

So, start filling up your schedule with new activities, hobbies, and events that excite you. Say yes more to invitations. Focus on making new memories and having new adventures with new people.

Weekend getaways, spontaneous road trips, gigs and festivals, cooking classes, wine tasting nights, lunch, or nights out with your friends.

Now is the time to become a social butterfly.

10. Do all the things that you didn’t when you were together

When you’re in a relationship, there’s always an element of compromise between you to cater to each other’s likes and interests.

Were there any things he hated doing that you loved and didn’t get to do much when you were together?

Maybe it’s something like watching scary movies, sunbathing at the beach, going on exotic vacations, or exploring new parts of your local town.

Do more of the things you love.

11. Set new goals to focus on

After a breakup, you’ll feel like there’s a big part of your life missing.

It may not be the right time to jump back into dating (yet), so use this free time to refocus your attention on a different part of your life.

Maybe you want to work on getting back into shape or eating healthier and feeling stronger. Maybe you want to get ahead at work or in your business. Or perhaps you feel an urge to declutter your house and wardrobe and breathe some fresh air into your life.

Set yourself some new goals to focus on—they can be as big or as small as you like. And when you achieve them, you’ll give your confidence a much-needed boost.

12. Meet new people

group of friends

Meeting new people and being super social right now will make you feel good and help you let go of the past.

It doesn’t need to be in a romantic sense; just make sure you’re making a considered effort to meet new people and make new connections.

The best way to do this is to get out of your comfort zone and do things you wouldn’t normally do.

For example, join a local sports club, visit a museum or art exhibition, hang out in a new bar, try a new restaurant, attend a local meetup in your city, volunteer somewhere. The possibilities are endless!

You’ll inevitably start meeting new men along the way. When the time feels right, be more deliberate about meeting men, brushing up on your flirting skills, and enjoying the freedom of being single. This is step number three of my Little Love Steps.

13. Continue building your confidence

Going through a breakup will inevitably knock your confidence, and it’s difficult to start building it back up if you’re feeling down or worthless.

All of the things on this list will help you slowly rebuild your confidence and get back to a place where you feel comfortable and happy within. The more you commit to these things, the faster you’ll heal and move on.

14. Believe that there is someone better out there for you

The final step to moving and ending those I miss him feelings is to believe there is a better guy out there for you. You just haven’t found each other… yet.

Enjoy where you are today and the beautiful journey this life is taking you on. Trust that when the timing is right, you’ll cross paths.

Are you ready to move on and create a stronger relationship that lasts?

It’s time to quit looking back into your past and commit to moving on and finding a fantastic relationship.

You deserve more than someone who is lukewarm, flaky, and doesn’t recognize your worth.

Believe that.

When you find yourself missing a guy after a breakup, what has been your most successful tool for healing and moving on?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

I miss him

The post “I Miss Him” – Do You Really? Or Do You Just Miss The Idea Of Him? appeared first on Love Strategies.



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3 Types of Men Who Pull Away (Avoid #2 Like the Plague)


Men tend to be avoiders when it comes to dating and relationships.

We find it uncomfortable facing our emotions and dealing with them head-on.

So, what do we do instead?

We AVOID them like the plague.

We will literally do ANYTHING rather than deal with our own truth.

And that includes hurting the women we’re dating by pulling away when shit gets a little too real.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could spot guys like this from a mile away and avoid yourself unnecessary heartache?

Let me tell you about the three main types of men who pull away.

As soon as you spot one, walk the other way. This won’t end well.

It doesn’t matter how much you like this guy.

You’re not going to like him very much when he disappears on you without an explanation and breaks your heart a few months later.

If you’re getting the feeling that he’s trying to pull away or push you aside, listen to those feelings and follow them.

Respect yourself enough to walk away.

Why waste your time with someone who isn’t fully committed or into you?

You deserve worlds better than this.

The thing about guys like this is, sure, they might change someday in the future and want to commit to someone.

But you can’t make him want to do that. He has to get there in his own time.

Don’t be waiting around for him to figure it out.

Do you find yourself constantly attracting guys who pull away?

Let me know in the comments below, along with which category of these three guys he usually falls into.

Your Coach,

3 Types of Men Who Pull Away (Avoid #2 Like the Plague)

types of men who pull away

The post 3 Types of Men Who Pull Away (Avoid #2 Like the Plague) appeared first on Love Strategies.



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He Doesn't Appreciate You? Here are 3 Things to Do

He Doesn’t Appreciate You? Here are 3 Things to Do


I’m a Significant believer in valuing and loving you initially and foremost before looking for really like.

But when you do get into a relationship, that person ought to make you sense even a lot more wonderful than you presently do.

So, what do you do if you locate your person does not take pleasure in you the way you know he ought to?

Ought to you give him time to deal with up his act? Sit down and converse to him about how you experience?

Ditch his sorry ass, and move on to somebody who is familiar with and acknowledges how lucky they are to be with an outstanding female like you?

Really do not worry, I’ve obtained you included.

If you are sensation unappreciated, here are 3 items to do.

https://www.youtube.com/look at?v=gAZARQ8TCYI

Ultimately, only you will know in your coronary heart if this is a short-term emotion or if something’s basically not ideal in your connection.

If you have been emotion this way for a while now, it may possibly be time to split factors off and say Up coming.

For the reason that the truth of the matter is, you have earned to be with anyone who appreciates you each solitary working day and will make sure you know how liked and adored you are.

I want you to get to the point where you price and respect you so considerably that you will quickly know when a man is not achieving your substantial requirements and have the confidence to say, “I should have far more than what you’re ready to give me.”

Have you at any time felt underappreciated in a connection?

Share your tale with me in the remarks down below.

Your Coach,

he doesn't appreciate you

PS. If you are completely ready to start out creating guys pursue you for love, then join me on this free webinar to explore the 3 measures to setting up emotional attraction – Sign-up listed here to get started out (it is 100% cost-free).



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Dating vs. Relationship: 13 Differences And What The Title Really Means


What’s the real difference when it comes to dating vs. being in a relationship?

How do you know if you’re casually seeing someone or if you’re exclusive?

If you found your way to this article, you’re probably feeling a little confused and looking for clarity on your situation. And I get it. Nobody wants to feel like they’re walking in the dark, not knowing where they stand with someone.

You deserve to know.

There’s always that confusing period where you’re frequently seeing the same person. Maybe you automatically see it as a relationship, but you haven’t officially labeled it. It feels like you’ve got something special here, and all signs tell you it’s growing into a genuine partnership. Perhaps you’re apprehensive about having “the talk” too early on and freaking a guy out.

Don’t worry.

In this article, I’ll be explaining the key differences between dating vs. being in a relationship. By the end of it, you’ll know exactly where you stand—no more guessing or hoping.

Dating vs. Relationship: The key difference

dating vs. a relationship

In a relationship, both people must have agreed that they’re seeing each other exclusively and are mutually committed to each other and the shared partnership.

When two people are dating, there’s no agreement like this. Things are more casual, you’re probably dating other people, and there’s a distinct lack of commitment.

However, in real life, things can become a little murky. There’s a grey area in the transition between dating and being exclusive. That’s why I’ve created a list of signs that you’re just dating vs. in an actual relationship.

Signs you may be “just dating”

  • You’re not entirely comfortable with him.
  • You still get butterflies around him.
  • There hasn’t been a discussion of exclusivity.
  • You spend more time apart than you do together.
  • You’re still in Little Love Step #5—exploring your options.

You know you’re in the dating phase still when it feels like you’re both still sizing each other up.

Both of you are keen to put your best foot forward at all times. You want to impress one another and hope to carry on seeing each other.

You’ll likely have moments where you feel nervous, self-conscious and sometimes overthink things.

You’re not putting all your eggs in one basket—you’re still deciding whether you’re a good match and want to take things to the next level.

Ultimately, your personal life still gets the majority of your attention. You spend time going out with the girls, enjoying your hobbies, and none of your choices are yet tied to his.

Signs it may be a relationship

  • You have explicitly had a conversation about commitment and are both on the same page (unless you’ve done this, it is not a relationship!). This is what I call Little Love Step #6 in my dating coaching program, Love Accelerator.
  • There’s a physical and emotional connection.
  • Sex becomes more meaningful.
  • You spend more time together than apart.
  • You can see this person in your future.

As your connection develops and progresses, you’ll notice a difference in the conversations and interactions you have.

You’ll ask each other more profound questions, there’ll be more vulnerability and openness with each other, and you’ll notice and be attracted to the non-physical qualities your partner has.

There will also be a sense of security. You’re both in tune, and you know what you want.

You make plans and set future goals based on you being in each other’s lives long term. Terms like “boyfriend,” “girlfriend,” and “partner” are used as you begin to feel like a couple.

There’s no set timeline for when the shift from dating to a relationship should happen. It depends on both of you, how much time you’ve spent together, and the pace you’re both comfortable with.

However, some guys will never commit, and you don’t want to waste your time waiting around for them to either.

If you feel confused about where you stand, ask. This might feel scary at first, but you shouldn’t be afraid to get clarity on your relationship status.

Any man worth dating will want you to know where you stand and will have no issue being open and honest with you.

So, what are some of the more subtle signs you’re in a relationship instead of just dating?

1. A relationship is more emotional

During the dating stage, there tends to be more of a physical focus. Touching, kissing, and sex that is purely physical. But as the connection grows, emotional intimacy develops.

Of course, you’re still attracted to each other and enjoy the physical part of your relationship, but there’s a deeper level to it now.

Sex isn’t just about wanting to rip each other’s clothes off and enjoy each other’s bodies. Sometimes it will still be purely physical, but generally, it feels more intimate, more special.

This emotional connection can only form when you’ve opened up to each other over time and consciously allowed that deeper bond to develop.

2. Dating feels unpredictable vs. a relationship offers stability

When you’re dating someone, there’s no sense of security or predictability.

Each date you go on may be the last time you see this person—you can never say for sure. And that’s okay because neither of you has committed to anything.

In contrast, a relationship feels secure and stable. There’s a certain level of trust, loyalty, and consistency from both of you.

You know he’s not just going to disappear one day. This gives you a solid foundation to continue building your partnership.

3. In a relationship you’re not interested in dating anyone else

couple on a date

If you’re still on dating apps or websites, keeping your options open, and seeing different people, you’re still in the dating zone.

But if you’re on dating sites and don’t feel compelled to message anyone new, there’s one person in particular you’re dating who stands out from everyone else, and you have no desire to see anyone else; you’ve slipped into exclusivity.

Just be sure to have the conversation, so you know where you stand.

4. Dating means spending some time together vs. in a relationship they’re your go-to person

When you’re dating, you usually plan to see each other one or two nights a week.

But there are plenty of other people that you make plans with to do fun things like head to the movies, go for a bite to eat, head to a local gig, or visit a local art exhibit.

In a relationship, you become each other’s go-to for making plans.

If there’s a new movie out you’re dying to see, you ask him if he wants to go with you. When your friend throws a birthday party and tells you to bring a plus one, you know you’re going to invite him. You also find yourself checking if he’s free before you commit to other plans.

It’s a no-brainer. He’s your go-to guy.

5. In a relationship you’re content doing nothing

Jeffrey Bernstein (author of Why Can’t You Read My Mind) says it best when he claims happy couples are comfortable just doing nothing together.

When you’re still dating and getting to know each other, there’s a tendency to want to fill any gaps with chatter or action. It feels awkward or uncomfortable to sit in silence or do nothing.

And this is normal because you haven’t yet built up that comfort level with each other.

When your plans don’t necessarily involve doing anything, you know things are getting relationshippy.

6. When dating you don’t share everything vs. in a relationship you communicate openly

dating vs. a relationship

When you’re still dating, you don’t feel ready to start telling each other everything. Information tends to be on a need-to-know basis. And you’re still trying not to irritate or annoy each other with quirks or bad habits.

This level of comfort and trust has to evolve organically over time.

But in a relationship, communication seems easier and more open. Not that there won’t be disagreements or issues, but you feel comfortable airing and discussing things—big and small. You always know what’s going on with each other.

If you need some extra help when it comes to communicating openly and assertively with your partner, you may want to talk to a dating coach.

7. When dating the trust is still building vs. in a relationship you can count on them

When you’re dating, you’re not one hundred percent sure you can count on this guy.

For example, you might not feel able to ask them a favor or share something big with them. Likewise, you might feel uncomfortable being on the receiving end of something similar.

But when you feel confident they will be there for you no matter what you need and when you need them, you’ve established a level of trust that is synonymous with the start of any healthy relationship.

8. People dating value their freedom vs. in a relationship you value partnership

One of the key differences between dating and a relationship is people who are dating still value their freedom.

This is clear because they’re still living their lives entirely selfishly and doing what they want when they want to do it.

They can walk away whenever they like and start a new connection with someone else.

People in relationships have moved past this phase and recognize the value of a partnership.

They understand that even though there will be ups and downs, they’re up for working through those challenges together because they believe what you’re building together is worth it.

9. In a relationship you’re okay with them seeing the real you

You know you’re still dating when you feel the need to look your very best and be on your best behavior at all times around them.

You spend solid time picking out an outfit and doing your hair and makeup. Maybe you feel the need to keep quirks and flaws on the down-low—like your obsession with binging on trashy reality TV.

Gradually over time, this need to always be your best self begins to fade.

You’re okay with him seeing you without makeup on or lounging around in sweats with your hair pulled back. And you feel more comfortable sharing those weird quirks that make you, you.

You’ve moved beyond the superficial stage of dating where you worry this person might run if you show them something too real.

10. Dating means you avoid arguments vs. in a relationship, you’re solution-oriented

couple fighting

If you’re dating, you probably won’t have many (if any) arguments because you’re not faced with the challenges and obstacles established couples face.

When you do disagree, you’re likely to avoid arguing and change the subject or have a “fight to win” mentality.

But in a relationship, you become more “solution” oriented. You’ve already committed to each other, so you know you need to find a solution.

Whereas when you’re dating, it’s much easier just to walk away.

And research has shown that navigating conflicts constructively can actually benefit a relationship in the long run.

11. In a relationship you’ve both integrated with each other’s friends and families

When you’re dating, the focus is still on the both of you getting to know each other. You’re not ready to start adding other people into the mix when there’s still so much uncertainty.

You know you’re moving into relationship territory when you start introducing each other to friends and family, especially if the terms boyfriend or girlfriend are casually dropped.

Not only this, but you’ve both integrated with each other’s nearest and dearest.

That means his friends extend an invite to you when they make plans, and your family extends an invite to him when they’ve got something going on.

12. Dating means no labels vs. in a relationship you’ve had “the talk”

Like I mentioned earlier, if you’re dating, you won’t have put any labels on what you are. Whereas in a relationship, you will have had “the talk.”

That means you’ve defined what you are. You’re clear that neither of you is dating other people, and you’ve discussed your future needs and desires.

If you don’t feel like you can have an open and honest conversation like this with him, that’s a red flag that something is off. You should be able to talk about things.

Don’t ever assume anything until you’ve spoken about it and reached an agreement. The last thing you want is to assume you’re in a relationship only to find out he’s still seeing other people.

13. In a relationship there’s commitment from both of you

couple kissing

Dating allows room for a certain level of flakiness and non-commitment. One or both of you are probably undecided and still not entirely giving it your all. And this is normal at this stage.

But in a relationship, both of you are equally committed to a shared goal. You both put in the same time and effort into your partnership and want to see it grow.

How long should you wait before putting a label on it?

First, there’s dating when you’re both still seeing other people.

Next, there’s dating each other exclusively. Some people assume this equals a relationship, but different people will have different ideas about this. Again, it’s all about communicating so you know where you stand.

The final step is being in a relationship where you view each other as partners.

All stages are wonderful and have their joys and challenges.

When it comes to knowing when you’re ready to take things to the next level, it’s about trusting your intuition. Only you will know when you’re ready, and it feels right.

When it does, allow yourself to be vulnerable and have that conversation.

This is Little Love Step #6: setting boundaries for a committed relationship. Without setting clear, healthy boundaries, your relationship is likely to fail.

Don’t apologize for what you want, and don’t be afraid to walk away

Sometimes things will work out, and the guy in question will want the same things you want and be ready to commit.

Other times, you won’t get what you were hoping for.

And although it might feel disappointing in the moment, it’s actually a great thing.

Because it means you can forget about this guy and move on to someone who’s looking for the same things you are and is ready to go all in.

What do you struggle with most when it comes to having “the talk” and voicing what you want?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Drop me a comment below.

dating vs. a relationship

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Can You REALLY “Just Be Friends” With a Guy You’ve Dated?


Can you ever just be friends with a guy you’ve dated?

Let’s say you’ve gone out a few times, and the spark isn’t there.

By the way, this is perfectly natural when you’re dating.

But you enjoyed hanging out with this guy, so a part of you may be thinking, why let that go to waste? Or maybe you’re feeling a little guilty about turning him down, and you want to ease the sting with friendship.

Chances are you’ll have seen men and women manage to be just friends on your favorite TV shows and in the movies. But this is real life.

Maybe you even know a couple who used to date and still have a solid friendship.

So, can it really work?

My honest answer is HELL NO. Here’s why.

You’re probably here because you’re looking for help when it comes to dating, meeting high-quality men, and finding the long-term relationship you desire. Chances are you already have plenty of friends. You’re not looking for another one of those; you’re looking for THE MAN of your DREAMS.

Am I right?

So quit letting yourself get distracted. Focus on what you want, and you’re much more likely to attract it into your life.

Remember, you are always in control of how you choose to use your precious time and energy. So be intentional with it.

Forget friendship. Focus on romance, connection, and love.

I’d love to know what you ladies think. Can men and women be just friends? Has this ever worked for you in the past?

Let me know in the comments below.

Your Coach,

Can You REALLY “Just Be Friends” With a Guy You’ve Dated?

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The post Can You REALLY “Just Be Friends” With a Guy You’ve Dated? appeared first on Love Strategies.



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Finding The One: 16 Simple Steps To Attracting Him


Are you ready to find “the one”?

You’re tired of ghosters, time-wasters, and mediocre dates that just aren’t going anywhere. Dating apps and websites have left you exhausted and overwhelmed, and you’re starting to wonder if you’re the one doing something wrong.

Why can’t I find the one?

Does he even exist?

If this sounds familiar, you’ve landed in the right place.

Here’s the biggest secret that most people won’t tell you when it comes to finding the one:

If you want to meet an amazing person, the best thing to do is become an amazing person yourself.

Become the adventurous, go-getting, kind, playful, romantic, and confident person you’re looking for.

When you shift the focus from men to yourself and get clear on the kind of life you want to live and the kind of partner you want to be, you’ll find you start meeting better matches for you and establishing genuine connections that have real potential.

So, if you’re serious about finding the one and ready to shift your usual perspective and approach, you’re in the right place.

Should you even try finding the one?

Did you know that your relationship might be happier and stronger if you don’t believe in the idea of soulmates?

Yes!

One study found that couples who believed in destiny, fate, or soulmates were more likely to break up than those who don’t.

This is because when you believe there is one perfect person for you on the whole planet, you automatically assume that finding the “right” person will form the foundation of a happy relationship.

Plus, this belief will seriously limit your dating options.

You’re likely to reject amazing potential partners who are compatible with you based on the illusion that there’s someone better suited out there for you.

One minor flaw or lousy habit might seem like plausible grounds to reject a guy on, even if he’s potentially great for you.

FYI: everybody has flaws (even Ryan Gossling).

The reality is, life is a lot more complicated than the romantic fairytale you’ve probably been sold.

Finding the one is actually about finding someone you connect with on a deep level who you believe will make you the happiest in the long run. It’s about finding someone you want to share and build a life with, and it’s about accepting that there is no perfect match.

So, if you’ve been laser-focused on finding the one, I invite you to do something a little different.

Forget the idea of there being a “one” and start focusing on enjoying meeting new people, dating, and seeing where things go.

1. Finding the one: Love yourself first

self love woman

You’ve probably heard this saying a hundred times already, but I’m going to repeat it here to give you a much-needed reminder:

You have to work on loving yourself first before you can fully love somebody else.

Let me put this another way: how can you sell something to others that you don’t even believe in yourself?

If you haven’t taken the time to fall in love with your gifts, beauty, and quirks, you won’t know what you have to offer someone in a partnership. You won’t know or recognize your value, which leads to us attracting someone who isn’t good for us or doesn’t deserve us.

This is why building your sexy confidence and building your foundation of self-love is step one of my 7 Little Love Steps.

The truth is, finding the one will never fulfill you the way you desire if you don’t already have a strong sense of self-worth and self-confidence. If you think you’ll feel great about yourself after you find him, think again. This is an unhealthy belief that puts your happiness in someone else’s hands. No one else can truly make you happy—it’s an inside job.

So, are you taking care of yourself?

Do you value and appreciate yourself?

When was the last time you showed yourself love and compassion?

What can you do to love yourself a little more each day?

Make a list and commit to showing yourself at least one act of self-love.

2. Ditch your timeline

Maybe you used to have a timeline for when you would find an amazing man, buy a house, get married, and have kids.

Maybe you still have a timeline like that.

I hate to break it to you, but life isn’t clean-cut like this. It’s messy and wild, and it rarely goes according to plan. If you do things right, chances are you won’t get what you wished for; you’ll get something even better.

Trying to follow a timeline or society’s script for when you “should” do things will only leave you feeling like you’re stuck on a treadmill that you can’t turn off. It will almost certainly leave you feeling miserable.

Even when you get the thing you wanted in the time you gave yourself, you’ll move straight on to trying to check off the next thing.

Before you say it, I know women have to think about timelines more than us guys because your fertility has a window. But don’t let this influence your decisions too much. Don’t try and make a relationship work when it clearly isn’t right. If you’re not on the same page, don’t let the relationship drag on.

Plus, science continues to advance every day. Women have so many more options than they used to. So try and let go of some of that pressure you’re putting on yourself.

3. Finding the one is easier when you figure out what you’re looking for

Wants are different from needs.

Wants are negotiable, whereas needs are not.

You might want a guy who’s taller than you with blue eyes and dark hair. But you might need a man who doesn’t want to get married or have kids.

Wants usually include things like a guy’s job, physical details, and how intelligent he is. Although these things might seem important, you’ll often find that they don’t matter as much as you think they do.

Needs usually reflect the qualities that matter most to you. This includes values, lifestyle, and ambitions. These are usually things that cannot be determined by reading someone’s dating profile or sharing one drink with them.

Now that you know the difference, get clear on what you’re actually looking for. What does your dream guy look like, inside and out?

First, make a list of non-negotiable needs.

If a guy doesn’t tick these boxes, he’s not going to be compatible with you long-term.

You can then make a list of wants, but think of them as nice-to-haves rather than boxes that he must tick.

This is what I call your love vision.

It’s important not to skip this step because when you take time to figure out what you need in a partner, it makes the search a lot easier.

4. Get help finding the one from a dating coach

There’s a lot to know and learn when it comes to dating and finding a real, long-lasting relationship.

So, if the whole idea of dating and finding the one is overwhelming, don’t worry. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to do this alone either.

Enlisting in expert help from a dating coach might be what you need to recognize your worth, start moving in the right direction, and find the amazing man you deserve.

5. Explore your interests & live a whole life on your own

The next step for finding the one for you is to focus on living a full life on your own.

If you don’t have any hobbies or interests, now is the time to find some new ones. And if you already have some, try some new ones too!

Think about what you’ve always wanted to try but never have, or what you’re deeply passionate about, or the things that feel good to do.

The possibilities are endless.

Devoting time to doing things you enjoy is a great way to keep a balanced, whole life. Dating can sometimes become all-consuming and the focus of all your attention—but your real focus should be your happiness.

Developing and nurturing your interests will bring you joy, help you meet new people, and have fun experiences. The by-product of this is it will make you more exciting and attractive to others.

You don’t need to be in a relationship to live an incredible, adventurous life. You can do that today!

6. Be super social

woman dating

If you’re serious about finding the one, you have to commit to being extremely social.

It doesn’t matter if you’re naturally introverted or shy—you can still be authentic, but make sure you’re giving yourself plenty of opportunities to meet new people.

In my dating coaching program Love Accelerator, we encourage you to keep a “Social Score.” This means we encourage you to set goals for how many new people you want to meet and hold you accountable to those goals.

Setting goals like this helps you stay focused and committed to what you want, and it gives you the nudge you need to keep putting yourself out there. Before you know it, you’ll be in a healthy, happy, committed relationship with an amazing man.

7. Use online dating apps effectively for finding the one

Online dating apps and websites can be a great way to connect with new people. The problem is, most people are using them the wrong way.

If you find you encounter many men who seem to flake or ghost on dating sites, there’s a reason why.

Dating apps are a brilliant way to meet new people instantly, but after that, the ball is in your court. It’s on you to communicate what you’re looking for.

I recommend meeting up with someone for a cup of coffee within a week of matching on a dating app.

Some people will be on the same page, while others won’t be. But it’s better to eliminate the flakey guys now than later on when you’ve invested more time in them. Your time is too precious to be playing games or dancing around what you want.

When it comes to setting up your dating app profile, studies have shown small things that can increase your chances of success, including a clear, attractive picture of yourself and a fluent headline message. When it comes to sending a compelling message that leads to a meet-up, what’s essential is genuine interest, quick turnaround time, humor, and an early move from online chatting to an actual date.

8. Enjoy dating

Next comes the fun part: accepting dates and exploring new connections!

We’ve already explored finding new hobbies, putting yourself out there, and using online dating effectively. You might also want to head to singles events or speed dating nights, try a matchmaking service or ask friends and family to set you up with people they know and think might be a potential match.

The most important thing to remember through all of this is to make having fun your focus because dating is meant to be fun!

Even if a date doesn’t go too well or there’s no connection there, look for the positives. You’re getting out of your comfort zone, brushing up on your flirting skills, expanding your social circle, and meeting people from all walks of life.

During this dating phase, don’t forget that you are in the power seat. Don’t chase guys; let them pursue you. Your job is to figure out whether he meets your love vision.

9. Keep your options open

finding the one

I always tell the women I coach to keep their options open during the dating phase.

You’re still going on new first dates, second dates, and maybe even third dates.

You’re talking to multiple men, getting a better sense of who is potentially a good match for you and who you want to keep seeing again and again.

Now is the time to slow things down a notch. This will give you the time and space you need to figure out who you want to take that next step with and date exclusively. Plus, this will naturally make men pursue you harder.

10. Expect to be “rejected”

If you put all your energy into preventing being rejected by anybody, then you’ll never end up putting yourself out there. Dating is all about putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. This is what love is built on.

So, as much as it sucks, you will have to face rejection, whether you’re the one doing the rejecting or on the receiving end of it.

Most of us find this difficult because we take being rejected by someone as a personal rejection. We assume there’s something wrong with us.

Why doesn’t he like me?

This is the wrong way to look at it. Rejection is never usually about you; it’s about the person doing the rejecting. You have zero control over this. And it’s a great thing because it means you’re one step closer to finding the one who’s right for you.

Don’t take it personally. Let it go as quickly as you can, and move on to the next guy.

11. Communicate what you want early on

“Women who ask for what they want are often labeled as abrasive in our culture. But holding back can be detrimental to your dating life.”—Alison Pelz, Psychotherapist.

You can’t create a healthy, functional relationship with a man unless you can have open and honest conversations during the dating phase.

Communication is a skill, and it’s not one that many of us learn deeply as kids. Similarly, being vulnerable can be a great strength, but we’ve learned to view it as a weakness.

Communication and vulnerability are both needed to express what you want and need early on. So, if you like a guy, tell him. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, be open about that. This is incredibly attractive, and it weeds out anyone who isn’t a good match for you.

12. Be authentic (and accept your flaws)

older woman

Being authentic means you’re able to be who you are and feel comfortable with whoever you’re with. But this means you accept all parts of yourself—your strengths and your flaws because we all have them.

One of the best traits for everyone to look for in a potential partner is someone who can recognize their flaws and hold themselves accountable for them.

This is a sign of a mature, emotionally intelligent, self-aware person.

13. Pay attention to red flags!

While we all have our flaws, there’s a difference between a flaw and a red flag. A red flag is a significant issue that will create a problem in the foundation of a potential relationship.

Red flags include:

  • Depending on alcohol to communicate well, laugh, or have sex
  • Resisting commitment
  • He is unable to fully focus his attention on you when you’re with him
  • Jealousy over you spending time with others
  • Controlling behavior
  • It’s a purely physical connection
  • You only ever hang out together as part of a group

When you spot a red flag, don’t gloss over it, and don’t be afraid to walk away.

14. Build a genuine connection

When you’re on a date with a guy, the best way to build a genuine connection is to be fully present.

That means to give him your full attention and focus. Really listen to what he’s saying. Don’t be thinking about what you want to say after he’s done talking. Actively listen. Most people don’t know how to do this anymore—our attention spans are incredibly short!

If you’re not interested in your date, it will show. So, if this is the case, there’s no point in pursuing it further. But if you are interested, then show it. People can feel this.

Listening intently will help you get to know someone on a deeper level and build intimacy between you.

15. Experience some conflict together

couple fighting

Finding the one is not about finding someone you never argue with. In a long-term relationship, you are bound to disagree and have moments of conflict. Not only is this normal, but it’s also healthy.

What’s important is how you navigate conflict together.

Are you able to communicate calmly, clearly, and with respect, even when you’re pissed off?

You don’t honestly know how suited you are with someone until you’ve had your first big argument and figured out a solution together.

16. Think you’ve found the one? Make sure you have “the talk.”

It won’t be long before you’ve found a guy who you think might be the one for you.

You’ve dated for a while, built a genuine connection, and he shares similar values and goals to you. He meets your love vision, you’ve taken things slowly, and you want to spend more and more time with him.

You’re ready to make things exclusive.

So, the final step is to have “the talk.”

When you’re with the right person, conversations like this should happen naturally and feel easy to navigate. You should both be excited to build a future together.

Remember, if you don’t set clear boundaries like this and make sure you’re both on the same page, the relationship will not be built to last long-term. The very first boundary in any healthy relationship is a commitment from both people.

Are you ready to find an amazing man and the relationship you deserve?

Finding the one—or rather, a fantastic match for you—is all about getting clear on who you are, what you’re looking for, and actively committing to meeting as many new people as possible.

What do you think your biggest challenge is when it comes to finding the one?

Drop me a comment below, and let’s find you the relationship you deserve.

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3 Words That INSTANTLY Build Attraction With Any Man


Building attraction with a man you like is important.

Chances are, if you’re already on a date with each other, the physical attraction is there. But this alone is not enough. What you need is emotional attraction.

Why?

Because emotional attraction is vital for getting a man to commit and building a healthy relationship that lasts. This is what will take you from the dating stage to the relationship stage you’re looking for.

The great news is, building this kind of attraction isn’t complicated—if you know what you’re doing.

Here are three words that will help you INSTANTLY build attraction with any man.

It will take more than these three words alone to do it, but these words are a great place to start. Plus, they’re simple and easy to work into conversations.

The more you practice using these words, the more your confidence will grow and the deeper connections you’ll start to build with amazing guys you’re attracted to.

Trust me; you’ll wonder what you ever did without these three little words!

Take control of your dating life, and start being intentional with how you show up around the men you’re talking to and dating.

What you say and do matters more than you think it does. If you’re looking for a great guy to commit to you and build a long-term relationship with, these words are a great way to communicate this subtly.

I’d love to know which of these three words do you struggle with saying the most?

Share your thoughts with me in the comments below.

Your Coach,

3 Words That INSTANTLY Build Attraction With Any Man

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The post 3 Words That INSTANTLY Build Attraction With Any Man appeared first on Love Strategies.



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