How to add a light anywhere without electricity



This post is all about adding lighting…where you didn’t think you could! I used this easy hack on my wall of office built ins. 

If you remember, in our old house it took me forEVER to find the lights I wanted. I finally went with outdoor lights because everything else was crazy expensive:

DIY built ins with lights above
They worked perfectly! 
Thankfully now that sconces have become more popular, they are much more affordable. There are a ton more options now too. 
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I wanted that look again, and found a brass and black sconce I love that I’ve used before — you can see it here in our mud/laundry room: 
Lights without electricity
I used this little hack on that light too! You can find the black sconces here — they are affordable and you get two in the order. 
Usually when I build bookcases, I have electrical run to the lights to the header. This time, because I know of this lighting trick…I didn’t pay for that part. There are pros and cons to this trick so stay tuned for those! 

The trick is using these puck lights inside the fixtures: 
Trick for adding lights without electricity
I used this little hack in our dining area as well — it’s a way to add soft lighting without running electrical: 
Bookcase lights without electricity
It would have been really difficult to wire them on these skinny shelves, so this trick worked great! Make sure to check out the post to see how I made those specific sconces work! (Hint: it was even easier than what I’m sharing today.)
This time, I needed to secure them to the sconce because it was facing down. ** I’ve found an even easier and more secure way to do this so I’ll share that option first!
I discovered this little hack when working on our laundry and mud room makeover. When we had the cabinets moved, I later noticed that some task lighting would be nice on the new counter. I would have run electrical before I started this project, but I hadn’t planned on adding sconces. 
Enter these pretty sconces with the puck lights!: 
lighting black sconce above cabinets
This time though, the sconces had a shade that narrowed a bit too much at the top, so I knew the pucks would probably not fit. 
I noticed something when I was ordering the lights — as a suggested item at the bottom, it showed these handy outlet adapters: 
outlet adapters add outlet to light fixture
These are great if you don’t have outlets outside, especially for something like holiday lights. You can screw this into your outdoor lights and use them as an outlet instead. Cool, right? 
I decided to use them to make it easier to change out or charge the batteries in our non-electrical light fixtures. And I knew I needed to bridge the gap between where you screw in the bulb and where the shade gets too narrow on our sconces.  
I took some scrap dowel rod, cut it down and spray painted it to match the light. Then glued it on to the adapter: 
adapter hack for lighting without electricity
The spray painting is really not necessary — I thought we’d be able to see it in there but you can’t at all. You’ll need to figure out how long you want to cut your dowel, this will depend on your light fixture. 
I glued the parts together with Gorilla Glue, and it’s held up awesome! Once it’s cured it’s SUPER strong. I also used it to attach the bottom of the puck to my little contraption: 
easy way to screw puck lights into fixture
As you can see, I drilled a hole through the wood to run wire through (stay tuned for that in a minute), just for added security. It is not needed though, so if you choose this option you can forego the wire. 
This option makes it super easy to screw in and out, just like a light bulb!:
sconce with puck lights
It has worked so well — I’m planning on making this change to the sconces in my office. You can see how I first attached them with wire below…
If you don’t want to use glue or the adapters, all you’ll need is this 24 gauge wire:
How to use puck lights instead of bulbs
The sconces have a part inside that has a small hole. I ran the wire through that: 
Light a sconce without wiring electricity

The back of the puck light has two holes — you’ll need to run the wire through those, then tighten as much as you can:

Hack for lighting without electricity
When it’s secure, twist the puck light (with batteries) back on: 
Using puck lights instead of bulb in light fixtures
And that’s it! I use the bracket that comes with the light to hang — just screw it into the wall and hang your light: 
Library bookcase lights without electricity
They look GREAT! I wanted something simple that I could aim toward the shelves, and these work perfectly. 
As you can see here, I angled them so you can’t see the light unless you’re right under them. The scones have adjustable arms: 
Deep green vintage vogue bookcases using kitchen cabinets
Check out this post to see the steps of the DIY bookcases to this point!
I almost forgot to mention, that little remote in the photo above allows you to operate these without touching them. It has a timer and dimmer option which is great. The timer is key because when I’ve used puck lighting in the past, we would turn them on and ALWAYS forget to turn them off. The battery ran out quickly because of that. I purchased another puck light remote for this room. 
There are pros and cons to these little puck lights: 
Pros
  • Using this hack is MUCH cheaper than running electrical. 
  • You can use them anywhere so it opens up so many possibilities.
  • The puck lights give off a decent amount of light. 
  • You can do this with regular light fixtures (where the lights are enclosed) as well — not just sconces! 
Cons
  • The light is not as bright as normal bulbs. I’d compare it to somewhere between at 25-40 watt bulb.
  • The remote isn’t quite as convenient as a light switch.
  • The puck lights aren’t as attractive as a bulb. 

For me, the convenience far outweighs the cons. If I have an outlet below (to run wiring) and a good spot for a light switch nearby, I’ll still opt for having it wired. But this is a great option for bigger projects like this that would cost more to have an electrician add. 

The items I used for this lighting hack: 
Outlet adaptors
24 gauge wire
Gorilla glue
Set of puck lights
Extra remotes for lights
Short black and brass sconces
Long arm black and brass sconces (in laundry)
**The next step in this bookcase project (building the shelves) is here
**See this whole finished project here!

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How to use Rub 'n Buff for easy updates

How to use Rub ‘n Buff for easy updates


If you have a decor item that wants a minor a little something, this
“paint” that will come in a little tube is the fantastic answer for a swift
and quick update!

Rub ‘n Buff is this astounding metallic finish that is super straightforward to utilize (you just use
your finger or a soft fabric). The finish provides dimension and curiosity to essential decor like frames, mirrors and decorative objects. 

It really reveals off really depth on these goods as nicely — so if you have an intricate mirror or
frame, Rub ‘n Buff is fantastic for it. 

If you have by no means used it, you can be shocked at the energy in this little bitty
tube!:

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It really is not definitely paint — extra of a wax. It goes on easily and then you can
lightly buff it out to soften the appear a bit. 

I’ve applied this stuff for decades, and it’s my go-to when you will find anything in
our home that is wanting a very little bland. 

How to utilize Rub ‘n Buff

It won’t search like much, but this things goes a loooong way. It really is uncomplicated to squeeze out way too significantly — you want to err on utilizing as well very little and you can constantly increase much more or
layer the end. 

You only have to use a small bit for accent jobs. I generally commence by dabbing my finger on the opening: 

gold rub n buff tube

I normally use my finger — I really feel like it can be simpler to do element operate that way. But you can also use a tender
cloth to utilize it: 

how to apply rub n buff
black frame with gold corner detail
From far absent it offers the appear of steel brackets. I loved that appear so substantially, I did the similar to some of the frames on our
relatives space Do it yourself image ledges. 

I used a number of items of painter’s tape to mark off the corners and then just
rubbed it on: 

applying rub n buff to frame

It dries virtually instantly, so you can buff it out ideal absent. 

Use possibly
your finger or a cloth to rub it in and even out the end: 

buffing out rub n buff

I like a finger for software and a fabric for the buffing portion. You never have to buff, but it does give it a pretty sheen and blends it nicely. 

You can use Rub ‘n Buff for larger sized tasks, but I have generally liked the minor
depth it adds in lesser doses: 

DIY wood ledges on white wall

I assume I’m likely to incorporate it to the sides of the frames as nicely, so we can
see the gold accent from all instructions. 

I like this mirror in our basement and that it matches the
partitions almost specifically: 

westchester gray DIY built ins

Occasionally you want contrast, often a far more muted search is what you happen to be
aiming for. I like how this blends in for a much more contemporary search, but it necessary
something

When I extra the box molding on the walls down there, I moved the
mirror to an additional wall and then added gold accents with the Rub ‘n Buff: 
add metallic highlight to boring mirror

The paint on the mirror experienced a marginally distressed look on the edges, so I employed those as my guide. 

It only took a number of minutes and manufactured a large change!: 

gold detail on gray mirror

On one thing like this particularly, you can find no perfection needed. Just swipe it on listed here and there right until you get the seem you want!

Exactly where you can use Rub ‘n Buff 

This things adheres to all types of surfaces — metallic and wood are effortless. I have not attempted it on plastic so allow me know if you have! It is an effortless way to alter up light-weight fixtures, frames, art, ornamental knobs…the options are limitless! 

I have grabbed these tubes a lot over the decades — it’s especially
beautiful when made use of to highlight quite texture. 

gold highlight on textured frame

You can use it as a substitute of spray paint for more compact pieces also. I “painted” some crimson metallic bells in our Christmas decor previous calendar year. The Rub ‘n Buff gave them a vintage glance with a lot more dimension than straight spray paint would give. 

If you have a substantial item, you can spray paint it and then increase some detail with the Rub ‘n Buff on best. It really is so flexible! 

DIY metal terrarium with Rub n Buff

The pewter Rub ‘n Buff gave it the look of metallic, with some variation that straight spray paint can not give. 

Suggestions for applying Rub ‘n Buff

  • Keep in mind, a small goes a extensive way — start with a tiny amount of money!
  • No have to have for brushes, you can use your finger or a cloth
  • It’s easily taken off from your fingers with nail polish remover
  • Play all over with shades! It comes in 9 various metallic finishes,
    from silver leaf to copper. 

I appreciate that it gives items an more mature, vintage glance for the reason that the complete
isn’t excellent, especially on textured surfaces.

It additional detail so our mirror is just not so blah anymore…just
more than enough to make it stand out!: 

westchester gray walls with box molding trim

Have you tried this magical wax end? It is entertaining and effortless! 



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The POWER of wallpaper {don’t be afraid}


I don’t know what came over me when we moved into this house 3 1/2 years ago, but I’ve added wallpaper to almost every room makeover so far! Wallpaper is back in a big way, but I never really had any desire to use it until we moved here. 
Maybe I’ve fallen in love with wallpaper because I’ve had an empty slate, or maybe it’s because once you add it once you just want to keep going. It’s addictive! 
I’m rounding up all of the ways I’ve used wallpaper so far — from little accents to entire rooms covered in it! If you’ve ever wondered about the different designs I’ve used, this will be a good resource. These examples show the difference it can make in a space!
I’ve used both pasted and peel and stick wallpaper throughout the house. The pasted wallpaper is supposed to be easier to remove if you ever grow tired of it. But I don’t put much faith in that. 😉 If you use the pasted kind (I’ll share how to install it later in the post), I would make sure it’s one you really love! I wouldn’t do anything too trendy that you may tire of a few years later. 
I used peel and stick on the built in bookcase wall in my office. Here’s how it looked before, with the blank wall: 
kitchen cabinet bookcases in office
I used this peel and stick cherry blossom design on the backs of the bookcase shelves:
dark green DIY built ins office
It’s a beautiful, understated accent that gives the room a little extra something. You won’t even spend $50 to add this detail!
I did the same in the basement with a gray tweed looking peel and stick wallpaper: 

dark gray westchester bookcases with wood

I wasn’t sure about that one when it arrived — but once it was out of the package and I held it up to the wall, I fell in love. 
Wallpaper tip #1: Don’t judge it while it’s rolled up! Take it out and hold it up to the wall. Take a picture of it against the wall, it will help you visualize the space.  
My first go at peel and stick wallpaper was in our powder room. It was pretty bland before: 
simple powder room before
Since I was adding the board and batten wall treatment I only had to cover the top part of the wall, so it was a good beginner project. 
I used a pretty navy and gold design that adds drama in this little space: 
white board and batten bathroom with dark wallpaper

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Wallpaper install tip #2:  If you are installing trim and wallpaper, I find it easiest to hang the wallpaper first and then the trim. That way you can slightly cover the edge of the wallpaper with your trim. Same goes for installing it behind shelves — I always hang the wallpaper before building the shelves. 
If ever want to remove it, you can use a razor to score the wallpaper along the trim. 
We have a small little vestibule off our foyer that was calling out for a little something: 
small hallway off basement stairs
I found the wallpaper I wanted, but because it was the pasted kind, I waited it out to make SURE I really wanted to move forward. 
Thankfully the pretty pinstripe design will stand the test of time. I LOVE how this little hallway turned out!: 
pinstripe blue white wallpaper hallway
five panel interior doors

blue and white pinstripe pasted wallpaper
It’s so fresh, clean and classic. 
Wallpaper tip #3:  Avoid stripes. At all costs. 😂 Vertical or horizontal, it doesn’t matter. (There’s a popular shiplap look that I think would be a nightmare to install.) These stripes weren’t horrible, but that’s because I have a decent amount of experience installing wallpaper. But it was the most difficult one I’ve hung. 
I love dressing up small spaces like powder rooms and hallways! They are the perfect spot to go a little more dramatic, since they are so small. I did just that in this little hallway off our kitchen: 
small hallway art around thermostat
kamala baker indigo wallpaper
I thought the only place to buy this blue and white floral wallpaper was at Anthropologie, and it was seriously expensive! Thankfully I was able to find it under a different name online for much less. 
This is my favorite wallpaper project to date! I adore this one: 
indigo baker wallpaper small hallway

Wallpaper is a great way to “fill” up walls…it just flows! Our bedroom walls were pretty basic before I added wallpaper: 
decorating with art around TV
The peel and stick grasscloth wallpaper went a LONG way to cozying up this space! It feels like a hug when you walk in here: 
gray grasscloth wallpaper bedroom
See the full master bedroom reveal here!
Grasscloth is one of my favorites and this version is super inexpensive. 
It doesn’t have the feel of true grasscloth, but it does have some texture to it. And it looks authentic from just a few feet away: 
gray walls grasscloth wallpaper art around TV
The grasscloth look is more subtle, but sometimes you just want to make a BIG impact. 😀
That’s just what I wanted to do in our mud/laundry room. This wall with the drying rack is loooong…it needed something: 
folding table laundry room before
OK, OK — I know a lot of other stuff happened in here, but just look at that beautiful floral paper! What a HUGE impact!:
laundry room with floral wallpaper and hanging drying rack

I think I love wallpaper so much because it solves that problem of, “What can I do with this big empty wall for not much money?” It has become my go-to solution. 😉 
I actually kind of enjoy installing it — it’s like a puzzle to me. If you’ve never hung wallpaper I recommend starting with a small accent wall and using a peel and stick option. (See my tips for hanging peel and stick wallpaper here). That version allows you to remove and restart over and over (believe me, I know). 
Have I convinced you to add wallpaper somewhere in your home yet? I grew up with the old borders in our houses too, but never had to remove them. I know those bad memories have prevented many of you from trying it. 🙂
I have not removed any of ours yet, but when I do I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes! 
Direct links to all of the wallpaper I used here: 
Cherry blossom wallpaper in my office
Tweed wallpaper lookalikes in the basement here, here and here
Similar blue and gold peel and stick in the powder room (our version is no longer available) 
Pinstripe wallpaper in hallway here and here
Indigo and white floral in small hallway 
Similar gray grasscloth in our bedroom here and here (ours is sold out)
Pretty botanical floral wallpaper in the laundry room here and here
See more of our home here. 
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Two ingredient pineapple angel food cake



I don’t share recipes around here often but when I do you know it’s going to be either really easy or really good or really easy and good. This two ingredient dessert is both!

I don’t have a source for this, (a friend reposted it on Facebook) so I don’t even know what to call it. Pineapple angel food cake? Pineangel food cake? Pineapple fluffy goodness? 

two ingredient pineapple dessert
I’d dare say that even if you don’t love pineapple, you’ll probably like this one. It’s light and sweet and easy to dress up with simple additions. 
It’s also stupid easy to make. You just take a box of angel food cake and a 20 ounce can of pineapple:
pineapple dessert with angel food
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I’m sure you could use fresh pineapple (just keep the juices!) but wow…this is supposed to be easy remember? 😉

You just dump the pineapple in with the cake mix: 

pineapple and angle food combo
And that’s the only ingredients! When I first saw this I thought, wow, that’s crazy easy! And then I remembered you only need water with the angel food cake mix anyway, but I digress…it’s still easy. 
**Do not add water to the mix per the directions. 

The pineapple juice will react with the mix and make it super frothy and fluffy – it was fun to watch:
mixing pineapple cake dessert
The more you mix it the bigger it will get!

Then you just pour it into a pan and bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees, (follow the directions on the box for the pan you’re using!) That’s it! (I ended up using a 9 by 13 glass pan the first time but since I’ve used an angel food cake pan like this.)  

I starting eating it right out of the pan and it was SO GOOD warm. Wow. YUMMO.

I soon realized I could make a little parfait:
angel food cake and pineapple dessert small parfait

OK, if you add whipped cream or fruit, it’s more than two ingredients. But I promise it’s delicious on it’s own. (Find similar mini trifle bowls here!)

I layered the pineapple goodness and whipped topping and it was SO. good. The cake was just fine at room temp but like I said, I loved it heated up a little.

So there you go – a super easy, really yummy dessert. It’s perfect for this time of year with the pineapple and great for when you have people coming by and need something fast:
angel food cake and pineapple dessert
Or when you’re home alone in the middle of the day. Whatever. 😉

Have you tried this easy dessert? Any other simple sweet recipes you’ve tried? (Some readers on Facebook said they have tried it with cherry filling too – doing that next!)

This strawberry pretzel dessert is always a hit! Absolutely delicious: 
strawberry pretzel dessert
**Check out my other easy recipes here!

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How to extend an outdoor faucet


Hello my friends! Sometimes I find a product I love so much, it deserves it’s own blog post. Whether it’s a cleaning product like this super inexpensive vacuum that I LOVE, or the gorgeous cooking set I found (that still looks great by the way), or even furniture like my most favorite sofa ever. 
This time we’re heading outside for an item I got a few weeks ago but just recently assembled. There are many little details that I wish we had thought of while finishing this house (that started as a spec house). One of those little things that has always bugged me is how low and shallow our outdoor spigots are. 
I wish I would have had them installed higher for easier reach. They are SO low and so close to the stone, it’s difficult to get a hose attached. And as we get older, we avoid struggling with anything that requires crouching. Ha! 
low and shallow spigot on house

We’ve always used hose holders that sit on the ground. You may remember that I spray painted them last year: 
oil rubbed bronze hose holder bowl
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They’ve held up GREAT (I’ll show you in a minute), and I love the look of them, but we wanted something taller. Also, the clippings from the yard are always all over the place and stick like glue. 

I did some looking around online to see if there was a solution that would raise everything (including the spigot) up off the ground. I found the solution! 

This garden hose holder has a faucet that connects to the bib on the house: 
Aqua Joe hose and spigot extender
When the package arrived and I opened it up, it looked like a lot of pieces. I put it to the side for a few weeks till I had some extra time to sit down with it. And then when I did, it took about two minutes to assemble. That’s always the way…what I think will be easy takes 45 minutes and what I think will be difficult takes a couple. 
It’s really just three parts that snap together. It was also super easy to get staked into the ground. (Dampen the soil if yours won’t go in.)
We have a very long expandable hose that I love and I wasn’t so sure it would fit on the holder without pulling it over when filled up. It didn’t even budge!:
hose and faucet extender for hose bib

I love that you can place the holder wherever you want and turn on the water from where you’re at. I’ll be moving the location of the holder to another spot when I get a longer lead hose. That way I won’t have to walk across the back of the house to get to water for our potted plants. 

**I ordered this extension hose to reach to the spot I’m moving it to — it’s supposed to be flexible (our current one is not) and comes in a bunch of sizes. 
I also LOVE that you don’t have to crouch to get the hose or to turn it on. It is so easy to use!: 
extend hose and spigot to garden or yard

We liked it so much I immediately ordered another one for the other side of the house. 

They aren’t the most beautiful holders, but they are streamlined enough that you don’t really notice them. The great part is you can easily hide them behind bushes for or trees too. I’ll probably bury the lead hose in the mulch so you don’t see it. 
I think this is thing is brilliant! It comes with a two year warranty as well. I thought it may solve the same issues you too! You can find the standing hose holder here, the flexible extension hose I ordered and the long expandable hose we love. 
Oh and here’s how the metal hose holders have held up after spray painting them last fall: 
oil rubbed bronze round hose holder
They look great! I’ve figured out a way to reuse them outside, I’ll share that soon. 
See all of my outdoor projects at our home here and those from our first house here:
long concrete patio with round fire pit area

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How Many Dates Before Sex? Here’s What You Need To Know

How Many Dates Before Sex? Here’s What You Need To Know


Have you ever questioned how quite a few dates you should go on just before obtaining sexual intercourse?

Let’s say you’re on a date with a gentleman, and it’s swiftly shaping up to be one of the ideal dates you have ever had. The sexual chemistry is off the charts. You are considering about what he may be like in mattress. Hell, you feel this guy could probably be the A single.

But then will come the snag.

You’re searching for something long-time period and not just a informal hookup.

Will he get the mistaken idea?

Will I wreck my shot at a romantic relationship by sleeping with him way too before long?

The shorter remedy is, you must do regardless of what you want to do, and there isn’t a rigid established of rules you really should be pursuing when it comes to sexual intercourse. The most vital issue is that you (and your future self) really feel very good about the decisions you make.

But chances are you discovered your way right here since you’re not seeking for the short solution. So I’m going to split this down for you in much more depth in this write-up.

There is no “right” initial time to have intercourse.

We have all been on the getting conclusion of combined messages when it comes to sex:

Do not have sexual intercourse until eventually you’ve been on at the very least a few dates.

If you go household with him on the very first day, you are not girlfriend substance.

You have to make him wait for a month, minimum amount.

If it feels appropriate, have sexual intercourse. Why deny your body what it needs?

So, which 1 is it?

Irrespective of the various personalized guidelines persons have for their sexual intercourse life, keep in mind you are not them. So don’t hold by yourself accountable to other people’s guidelines.

And if you have your possess guidelines relating to intercourse that come to feel right, that’s excellent. But if you end up breaking them, never judge your self for it. If the chemistry is there and you want to have sexual intercourse, go for it.

The fact is, there is hardly ever a “right” time to have intercourse with another person new. Each individual female is unique, just about every person is distinctive, and just about every marriage is diverse.

Really don’t fret about what other persons could possibly feel or say about you. Your options are your have. You really don’t have to clarify on your own to everyone.

What I will say is, make certain you’re owning sex for the “right” good reasons.

Here’s what I indicate by that.

You need to only have intercourse if you definitely want to, and not because of ulterior motives.

That implies really do not have intercourse in the hopes it will prevent him from dating other individuals and commit to you. Really do not have sexual intercourse due to the fact you really feel like you have created him wait long ample presently or due to the fact you sense pressured to.

Acquire that step when you feel fully prepared, and make the choice together.

How many dates right before intercourse?

Can I have sexual intercourse on a initial day?

https://www.youtube.com/observe?v=uiXTvriax7o

There was a time when persons employed to wait around right up until they were married in advance of obtaining sexual intercourse for the first time. Even though some people today still exercise this, most individuals are not waiting around this lengthy to do the deed.

On the other hand, sleeping with anyone on a first day is continue to found as taboo by society, and most of the stigma is unfairly directed toward girls.

“I believe men and women stay clear of intercourse on the initial date because of to previous, patriarchal ‘wisdom’ that females need to make adult males work for sex and typically hold off it,”—Jenna Birch, writer of The Adore Hole.

Birch states this is toxic because it perpetuates the out-of-date belief that males are the only kinds who receive enjoyment from sexual intercourse. It keeps women of all ages disconnected from their sexual energy and encourages them to “safeguard” their sexuality.

The base line is, you can absolutely have sex on a very first date—if you want to. And you should not feel any guilt or shame all-around that.

But keep in mind, sex improvements items.

As tough as you try out and persuade on your own that absolutely nothing will alter just after sleeping with a guy, it constantly does

And it’s not for the reason that of something you’re doing (or not executing)—it’s for the reason that of the way your entire body reacts as a woman when you sleep with anyone new for the first time.

Two major issues come about:

  1. Your entire body creates the “bonding hormone” oxytocin.

This is the exact same hormone that will get produced when a mom is nursing her toddler. If the sex is in particular excellent, you can count on your entire body to produce oxytocin. You really do not have a say in it!

In contrast, the dude you slept with will generate a lot more testosterone, which is identified as the “hunting hormone.” That means unless he is adamant he desires to be with you, he is possible to go on searching, i.e., sleeping with other individuals.

  1. After the bonding hormone kicks in, you are possible to quit making an attempt to sleep with other people today.

Perhaps it’s simply because of a subconscious concern of obtaining expecting, but most girls typically really don’t like sleeping with multiple males at the identical time. As a final result, you may possibly accidentally finish up turning out to be monogamous to this guy you slept with.

This means you have essentially taken yourself out of the courting recreation for a person who most likely has not specified you any indication they want to dedicate to you.

Probabilities are, this is not where you want to be!

In my seven little appreciate steps to attracting a man and the relationship of your desires, we display you the importance of holding your alternatives open up and creating absolutely sure he is the 1 pursuing you.

Tread cautiously if you are hunting for a thing severe.

If you are wanting for a extensive-phrase relationship rather of a informal hookup, ready to have sex may perhaps perform in your favor.

A 2014 analyze identified that ready to initiate sexual intimacy in single interactions typically had a additional optimistic consequence in the very long operate, as opposed to owning sex on the initially day or shortly after.

Acquiring sexual intercourse on the first date can propose that sexual intercourse is far more significant to you than anything else, which includes the probable of building a lengthy-expression connection.

Additionally, it does not give you considerably of a opportunity to look at if the male in query is on the very same site as you. If neither of you are searching for anything additional than enjoyable, that is terrific. But if you want extra than he does or vice versa, that is the place it starts off to get messy, and thoughts can be damage.

On prime of that, if you’re obtaining genuinely great sexual intercourse, it can cloud your judgment and stop you from looking at items clearly. It can make it much more complicated to prevent looking at that person even if you know they’re not very good for you.

My tactic? The 10-hour rule.

I often instruct the “10-hour rule” to the ladies I mentor. That means you should really devote at minimum 10 hrs with a dude (sober!) right before considering about sleeping with him if you’re seeking for a romance.

Why?

Simply because this offers you time. Hopefully, you will have been on a few dates with this man or woman, likely around the system of a thirty day period (at minimum). You get a far better sense of who this person is and how stable and trusted he is.

That is rough to do after assembly anyone the moment or 2 times.

If you are hunting for a fully commited romantic relationship, it’s essential to believe of intercourse much more strategically like this. Not in a way to regulate the other man or woman, but to raise the prospects of this doing the job out the way you want it to.

couple in love

What if the very best element of sex is not essentially the sexual intercourse?

What the f*ck do you indicate, Adam?! Sexual intercourse is Wonderful.

I know, I know, hear me out on this one particular, all right?

What if the genuine sexual intercourse portion is not what can make intercourse so fantastic?

What if it is the sexual chemistry and the creating of all that stress main up to sex?

It’s possible it is the assumed of sleeping with this particular person and the alluring anticipation and excitement that happens ahead of?

My principle is, what can make sex so damn thrilling with someone new for the first time is the dance that happens prior to.

It’s having to know them as a result of deep, intimate discussions. The again and forth flirting and steamy makeout periods. Peeling one more layer back each individual time you meet up with.

Sometimes, first date intercourse can be wonderful, and courting apps have made it less complicated than at any time to hookup in this way.

But when you do this, you overlook out on that establish-up, that dance, and that exclusive psychological connection with somebody. It is variety of like dishonest on your own out of the whole expertise.

I imagine truly great sex comes from trusting a person, feeling comfortable with each other, and emotion it on all stages of your currently being relatively than just in your physical physique.

You know you’ve built the suitable choice when you wake up the early morning soon after, and it feels just as good and correct as it did the evening just before.

how many dates before sex

What’s the third day rule?

Intercourse and the City’s Charlotte popularised the “three date rule” for owning sex with a new lover. The plan staying, you have to go on at minimum three dates with a male before getting things to the bedroom.

But a U.S. analyze identified that the regular human being would truly wait around until the eighth day prior to possessing intercourse. Adult males normally consider sexual intercourse is proper immediately after date 5, although gals want to hold out until finally date 9. Only 30% of adult men and 8% of women of all ages consider intercourse really should happen inside of the initially 3 dates.

My assistance? Have intercourse for the appropriate factors:

When you have an understanding of what sexual intercourse means to you.

Empowered sexual intercourse has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of sexual intercourse you’re possessing, how quite a few orgasms you are possessing, or how sizzling the guy you’re sleeping with is.

Empowered sexual intercourse is all about figuring out your boundaries (bodily and psychological) and obtaining the confidence to share these with your companion.

Right up until you know what sex signifies to you, you’re not completely ready to have sex.

When you do not have unrealistic expectations.

1 of the largest errors gals make is possessing intercourse with a guy too quickly in the hopes it will make him more critical about her. As I stated previously, this will not work and can normally have the reverse outcome.

If you’re praying intercourse will press your male into committing, turn into special, or slipping in really like with you, consider once again.

This is not a superior cause to have sexual intercourse!

When you know where by you are.

Numerous girls are afraid to confess to a person they want a marriage or be the one to begin the “what are we” discuss out of panic of hunting desperate.

But there is absolutely nothing determined about seeking to know wherever you stand. And the appropriate dude will want you to truly feel snug and on the very same web page as him.

So, if becoming exceptional is important to you before sleeping with a man, make sure you converse about it. Until finally you have had the talk, you should really presume he’s relationship other people—and you should really be far too!

If he can’t give you what you want and will need, which is okay. It’s time to say Next and transfer on.

couple kissing

When you really feel snug with awkwardness.

It’s not attractive to talk about how uncomfortable sex can be with another person new, but let us be sincere, it is Completely awkward.

I’m not indicating it can’t be excellent, but probabilities are there will be some fumbling and limbs flailing in unusual instructions. That is mainly because you are nevertheless receiving to know each other and figuring out what the other individual likes.

This is exactly where getting snug with each and every other comes into play. It makes it possible for you to permit your guard down, be susceptible with this human being, and be your authentic self.

If you’re nevertheless in the phase where by you want to glance perfect at all occasions and are presenting a polished variation of oneself to him, then possibly you really should wait in advance of getting the up coming move.

When you’re ready to talk about training safe and sound sex.

Did you know that 1 in each three or 4 grownups has an STI?

I know, I know, this is not sexy both. But that is why we have gotta talk about these points!

Practising harmless intercourse is so essential. Remember to prioritize your wellness. Whether or not you are on beginning handle or you’ve arrived at menopause, Always demand that he wears a condom.

And really do not be frightened to request him about his sexual historical past just before possessing sex with him. If he’s not ready to have this dialogue with you, then he doesn’t should have to have sex with you. Period.

When you can photograph the morning just after.

It is simple to get caught up in the minute when you’re acquiring a superior time with a guy. Perhaps you have had a few of drinks, the mild is framing his chiseled jaw beautifully, and you think to yourself, “what the hell, let’s do it!”

But test and look previous the second. Think about how you’ll sense afterward. You really don’t want to sense like you made a blunder or disrespected your boundaries.

If you think you are not likely to sense great after possessing sex, which is almost certainly a sign to wait a minor for a longer time. Don’t forget, there are no legal rights or wrongs here.

When you trust him.

The act of sexual intercourse demands deep vulnerability. This is why shared have faith in is critical.

You do not want to sense not comfortable, unsafe, or judged. Sexual intercourse need to really feel fantastic. It must experience thrilling, passionate, sensual, and safe.

If you really do not think you can trust this person, then consider waiting. When you know you can belief him to treat you perfectly all through and right after intercourse, the encounter will be a much a lot more constructive 1.

couple hugging

You can—and should—verbalize if you want to hold out to have intercourse.

If you are nervous or nervous about having sexual intercourse with another person new for the initially time, which is normal. Culture from time to time tries to explain to us it is not that large of a deal, but the reality is it is.

If you’re not 100% absolutely sure you want to have sex, then wait. And never be frightened to connect this to your spouse.

Say you’re in the center of a makeout session, and items are having pretty steamy. It’s obvious he wants to choose things more, but you are not ready to. Say one thing like, “I’m seriously captivated to you and like where this is heading, but I want to get matters a tiny slower and not get forward of myself right here.”

Rely on your intuition. If it doesn’t really feel ideal in your body, quit or sluggish points down a notch. Even if you stated sure, it is your ideal to improve your mind at any level.

Like I claimed, if he respects you, then he’ll respect your boundaries and want to wait around until eventually you experience relaxed and prepared.

Conclusion: Be correct to your self.

The only rule you ought to have when it comes to sex is to stay true to who you are and what you want and need.

That might signify you rest with a dude on a initially day, or you just take 6 months or extra in advance of you truly feel ready. Do not be concerned about what any individual else is saying or doing—your sex everyday living is none of their company, and you never need to have to transform who you are to in shape anyone else’s expectations.

How a lot of dates do you normally wait around for before acquiring sex with a new partner? And does this sense appropriate for you?

Enable me know in the remarks under.

how many dates before sex

PS. If you are ready to start off producing adult men go after you for like, then join me on this free webinar to explore the 3 ways to setting up psychological attraction – Sign-up here to get started off (it is 100% absolutely free).



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Make your rooms feel bigger with this easy trick!


This quick “hack” opens up your spaces and makes them feel so much bigger! I realized years ago that there were plenty of doors in our house that we never closed. I started to ask myself, can I just…remove them? Am I even allowed to do that? 
The answer is yes…yes you are. 😉 This is a great trick that will give you more space even if you’re renting a home. Just take care when removing the door and store it under a bed so it won’t get damaged. 
**I recommend keeping bedroom doors up for safety reasons. This is why we sleep with our doors closed.
I’ve done this so many times over the years, I even had a few doors removed when we built our house. There’s only one door I’ve taken down since we moved in — on the water closet in our master bath:
floating wood shelves over toilet
How to make simple floating shelves
It’s not a big space to begin with, so taking the door down made a HUGE difference. 
I don’t have a full before pic but this gives you an idea how much space it took up: 

water closet with door
Since we have a door to the main bath, we didn’t feel it was necessary to keep this one. We haven’t missed it once! 
I removed the door from our old mud room to the rest of the house and it made a HUGE difference in there: 

black and yellow laundry

This was a door we didn’t close once…so it was an easy decision. 
Obviously a lot more than that happened in this room over the years, but you can see that the line of sight is so much nicer!: 
mud room with light blue walls white beadboard
Light and bright beadboard mud room
I feel like I gain ten square feet of space in our house every time I do it! 
Removing the door was a given on the book nook I created as well: 
book nook created from linen closet
Bedroom closets are a great place to remove a door — especially if you can only access them through a bathroom. (They won’t be seen by anyone but you!) 
I removed the door on our old closet and we loved it: 
removing door in closet

after removing door in closet
You don’t physically gain that much space, but visually it makes all the difference in the world!

We removed the door to the basement in our last house just a few years after moving in: 
removing door from staircase
I don’t have a before picture, but just imagine the door swinging open to the right…after I took it down we really did gain space in the family room.
I remembered that for our new home and didn’t have one added to our basement stairs: 
blue and white pinstripe wallpaper foyer
See this pinstripe wallpaper makeover here
I also kept the doorway between our mud room and the kitchen open as well: 

kitchen and mud room transition
See how to use the empty space on the side of your fridge here!
It’s all up to your preference and how you live in your spaces!
Our upstairs bath is segmented into two smaller rooms, so I had the door removed and the opening framed out instead. Otherwise the door would have been open all of the time and blocking the natural light from a window. 
**If you are building a home, keep in mind you can have pocket doors installed instead! Those require structural changes you need to make early in the process, so they are difficult to add after the fact. 

I know you’re thinking…what do I do with the holes after the door is down? You can just live with them if they don’t bother you. (I still haven’t covered the frame in our master bathroom!) 
Or you can use inexpensive trim to cover where the door hung: 
covering holes in door frame

Are there doors in your home you never use? Remove one and see how you like it! All it takes to remove a door is a Phillips screwdriver, and perhaps a flat head screwdriver to pry the hinges off. 

See more of our home here. 
To shop items in our home, click here! 
Never miss a post by signing up to get posts via email. 



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The easiest plant for your garden {EVER}

The easiest plant for your garden {EVER}


I have observed (virtually) the least complicated plant/flower At any time. It truly is economical,
grows like mad, does not even need to be truly “planted”…and you can
complete ignore it and it will thrive. Yesss! 

I identified these simple backyard garden tiles past year and can’t even believe that how very well
they are undertaking. I had to share them with you! Oh, and they are perennials
(which implies it stays alive in excess of the wintertime or appear back again immediately after) and even
look good in the colder months. I only desire I experienced known about them quicker.
🙂 

I found this easy to mature plant when I mounted our cafe lights on the
again patio very last year: 

Our lights are industrial grade and large so we essential a way to protected the
planters so they would hold the excess weight. 

easy to grow succulent tiles in planter

This submit may perhaps contain affiliate back links for
your convenience. 

I advised you then how I applied one particular of these sedum tiles to fill both of those planters. I
figured they would just very last by way of the tumble, but to my shock they were being
still looking beautiful in the center of winter! 

I went out a single snowy day and couldn’t consider these have been continue to searching
awesome in the frigid temps with snow all above them — total of colour and not
dying off a person bit. I imagined for certain they would ultimately fade, but
nope. 

They look unquestionably amazing now: 

evergreen succulents in containers

Technically sedums are succulents, so it is surprising (to me) that they are
fundamentally evergreen (in up to zones 6 and 7!). Huh. You discover something new
each individual day!

That planter has more of the eco-friendly and yellow blooms, but the other one has
more crimson and orange: 

beautiful succulent sedum tiles

They definitely are lovely, appropriate? So intricate and delicate, they are
more robust than they seem! The sparse blooms in that right before pic have developed
like insane and are spilling over the edges of the planters. 

I surprise if the variance in colors is since one particular may perhaps get a lot more sun than
the other?: 

easy garden tiles in planters

I want to transfer that hydrangea to a new place. The sedum has taken in excess of!

I was fired up when I noticed them again the other working day (I uncovered mine at Lowe’s
but you can discover them on the net as well) and grabbed one particular for below our
mailbox: 

easy to grow succulent garden tiles

They would appear terrific in involving pavers on a patio or a walkway, along plant
beds or in containers like we have in the back. 

The most effective element — you practically just place them on the filth. No digging, no
relocating dust all-around. Just lay them down, drinking water often the initial pair of
months and then start ignoring them like I did. 😂

I conveniently tore them into items for the patio planters last 12 months, but this time
the bottom was thicker:  

easy sedum garden tiles

I just took scissors to get it began and then I was capable to tear parts
off. 

Now I’m thinking about putting them in our front porch planters as properly —
it would be so pleasant to go away the planters as is for all of the
seasons!

I adore gardening and I have hardly ever observed anything at all this simple to plant,
that grows so quickly, that seems so good. Oh, and the price is Good since
you need very small to get a spot started out. Within months it will be start out
spreading and fill in properly. 

Heck…these would be good for window boxes as very well! I’m a minor obsessed.
Have you tried these uncomplicated vegetation? So effortless and they glance so superior! Was any person
else shocked these are evergreen? 

DIY landscape lighting



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5 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Love You [Walk Away]


Are you in a relationship and struggling to figure out if this guy really loves you?

When you’re crazy in love with someone, it can be tricky to see your relationship clearly.

It’s like you’re walking around with blinders on.

But there’s a reason you’re here.

Something feels off. You’re not totally convinced he’s fully invested in you or your relationship.

And you deserve to know where you stand.

It’s not fair to live your life in limbo, bouncing back and forth from “he loves me” to “he doesn’t care.”

I’m gonna be honest. There are some obvious signs that make it clear he doesn’t love you.

But you have to be ready to hear them, take them on board, and be confident enough in your value to walk away.

Here’s where it gets tricky, though.

He might be saying all the right things he knows you want to hear.

But words are easy and cheap.

What do his actions tell you?

How does he make you feel?

These are the important questions to ask yourself if you want to know how a guy truly feels about you.

If it’s clear he has lost interest and doesn’t love you, then it’s time to say it with me, ladies:

NEXT.

You’re better than a guy who’s half-assing it.

You deserve real, committed love.

And if you’re ready, I’d love to help you find it.

If you’re still unsure if his love is real, drop me a comment below and tell me what’s going on.

I’ll break it down for you and help you figure out what’s going on.

The only catch is, I will always be 100% honest. So be prepared for the truth.

Your Coach,

 

5 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Love You [Walk Away]

signs he doesn't love you

The post 5 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Love You [Walk Away] appeared first on Love Strategies.



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“I Miss Him” – Do You Really? Or Do You Just Miss The Idea Of Him?


Have you ever broken up with someone, found yourself alone, and thinking, I miss him?

There’s no denying that breakups can hurt like hell.

Whether you were with someone for a few months or years, or you never even defined the relationship. Spending lots of time with someone you’re attracted to and see a future with creates a bond.

To have that broken sucks.

It can be even worse when the person in question did something to break your trust and shattered your heart. And there may be a part of you wondering, why do I miss him?

Regardless of what happened, breakups just hurt. A study found that the same areas of the brain are active when a cocaine addict withdraws from a drug and when heartbroken people see pictures of their former partners. This suggests that the way we experience love is similar to an addiction.

So you’re not crazy for feeling the way you do or missing him.

In this article, I want to help you understand why you might be missing him (or if you simply miss the idea of him) and how to stop missing him and move on with your life today.

Because you deserve to be happy on your own and eventually find your way to an amazing man who is the perfect match for you.

“I miss him.” Or do you miss the you that you were with him?

Even if you were the most fierce, independent woman before you met the guy in question, being in a relationship changes you.

The more time you spend together, the more you get used to having that person around and being in each other’s lives.

Chances are you had a certain routine, he was your go-to guy for making plans with, and maybe you depended on him a little (even if you don’t like to admit that). This is normal.

But ask yourself, do I miss him, or do I miss the familiarity and comfort of having him around?

Do I miss him, or do I miss that woman I was when I was with him?

There may be a part of you thinking you can’t possibly be happy without him, regardless of whether he was a good match for you.

But do you really believe this?

Are you going to pin all your happiness on someone else?

Remember, he is just one guy out of billions.

“I miss him.” Chances are you only miss the good times

couple fighting

After a breakup, we often focus on all the fantastic qualities of our ex and the good memories.

Why do we do this?

Because our mind likes to f*ck with us, that’s why!

You’re replaying the sweetness of your first date, the first “I love you,” the romantic gestures, and how great he looks with his shirt off.

But have you stopped to remind yourself of the bad times?

All relationships have ups and downs. If you broke up, chances are there were some compatibility issues, unresolvable arguments, and red flags.

Did he ever ignore your calls or texts, bail on you last minute, or treat you like an option?

Did he ever disrespect you, make you feel small, or fight dirty?

The next time you find yourself replaying the highlight reel, remind yourself of the not-so-good times too.

He wasn’t perfect. The relationship wasn’t perfect. And there’s a good reason why you’re not together right now.

“I miss him.” Or do you miss who you wanted him to be?

Sometimes we desperately want someone to be who we want them to be, which leads to us fabricating an idea of who they are in our heads. This is common when you first meet someone and you’ve just started dating.

You ignore what’s really in front of you and let your imagination run wild. You think about how beautiful your future will be together. How you’ll fall in love, get married, have beautiful kids, and live happily ever after.

Before you know it, you’ve dreamt up a new guy who is worlds apart from the one sitting in front of you.

You miss the red flags or choose to ignore them. You let little things slip that you probably shouldn’t. And you fell for the guy you needed or wanted him to be. But if you’re honest with yourself, he probably wasn’t that guy.

You don’t miss him; you just miss the amazing man you wanted him to be.

Once you realize this, you can let go of him and find a man who is actually amazing. I promise he does exist.

“I miss him.” Or are you afraid he’s going to move on with another woman?

Do you miss him, or are you afraid he’s going to move on with an amazing woman who’s not you?

Maybe you’re also worried that he’s going to finally become the man you wanted him to be, and this woman possesses the magical power to change him.

What does she have that you don’t? Why couldn’t he be that guy for you?

There’s no getting around it—seeing your ex move on is tough. Especially if he moves on before you do, or it happens fast.

But moving on is a natural step after breaking up. And who he dates or how he behaves in a new relationship is none of your business—so try not to consume yourself with it.

You’ll only make yourself feel crappy if you start comparing yourself to other women or dwelling on your ex.

Wish him and his new partner nothing but health and happiness. I know this is hard to do, but it’s the only way to make peace with the situation and allow yourself to move on.

“I miss him.” Or are you just afraid of being alone?

I miss him

As we grow up and get older, it can sometimes feel like everyone around us is moving on with their lives. Everyone apart from us.

Maybe your friends are all buying houses, getting married, and having babies. Even if they’re not there yet, they might all be coupled up, and you’re the only one who’s single.

Again, this is the comparison trap rearing its ugly head. And it can trick you into thinking you miss your ex when you’re just afraid of being alone.

If this is a genuine fear for you, it’s a sign that you need to embrace being on your own for a while. Get to love your own company. Live a whole life on your own. Get to the point where you’re so happy and content and in love with your life that you don’t need a relationship.

Be patient. Trust that everything is happening for you, not to you.

“I miss him even though he treated me badly.”

Was the guy in question emotionally unavailable?

Did he ever lie to you or play mind games? Did he cheat on you?

And you find yourself wondering, why do I miss him when he treated me so poorly?

Maybe, in the beginning, he was perfect. He promised you the world and more. He said and did all the right things and made you think you’d found the one. Maybe you had a super intense, passionate honeymoon phase in your relationship, and you couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have finally found someone so incredible.

And that’s when it starts. He gets hot and cold. It feels like he’s pulling away without an explanation. You ignore the red flags because you don’t want to lose him. But the reality is, you never had him in the first place.

This is why toxic partners can be the most difficult to get over. You’re still hung up on that guy at the start who seemed perfect. Maybe you even start blaming yourself for his change in behavior and convince yourself you weren’t enough for him.

But here’s the truth: he didn’t change. He was always an asshole. You just had blinders on at the beginning.

You deserve a guy who loves and respects you and would never dream of playing games or intentionally hurting you. Remember this next time you find yourself missing him.

And if you seem to keep going for emotionally unavailable guys and finding yourself in toxic relationships, consider working with a dating coach or therapist. This will help you discover the root cause of your actions and help you form empowering new habits.

“I miss him and want him back.” Okay… why?

Okay, so you miss him.

It’s time to ask yourself why.

Do you think this guy is your soulmate and you’re meant to be together?

Or is it more because you feel lonely, you worry you’ll end up alone for the rest of your life, and you’re convincing yourself he’s someone he’s just not?

Was the relationship happy, healthy, and thriving?

If the answer is no, would you rather stay in an unhappy relationship that isn’t working or find a happy one that works?

If part of you still prefers the comfort of being with someone who isn’t good for you instead of being on your own, it’s time to do some inner work.

You have to work on being happy and content on your own. Only then can you build a solid, loving partnership with someone else.

Here’s how to stop missing him and move on with your life today.

1. Don’t contact him

The fresher the breakup, the stronger the urge to contact him will be. But you’ve got to be strong and resist the temptation.

Keeping in contact with him or checking up on what he’s doing will only keep him at the front of your mind. You’ll keep yourself trapped in an emotional, vulnerable state.

I recommend blocking him on all social media and deleting his number, like, NOW.

Going no-contact will help you rebuild your strength, confidence, and self-worth.

This is the first step to moving on.

2. Write an unhappy list

It’s time to stop focusing on the good times and memories and start reminding yourself of the bad times.

I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but I want you to remind yourself that the relationship wasn’t perfect. When you recall all the painful memories and red flags you may have ignored, you’ll wonder why you’re even missing him at all.

So, write a list of all the things you didn’t like about this guy and all the things that made you unhappy in the relationship.

Next time you miss him, re-read this list.

3. Let yourself grieve

As I’ve mentioned already, it’s normal to feel the way you’re feeling and miss having this person in your life. To pretend like nothing happened and everything is okay is the wrong approach because you’ll only be denying and suppressing your true feelings.

So, give yourself permission to grieve this loss. Allow yourself to feel a rainbow of emotions: sadness, anger, pain, resentment, and loneliness.

You’ll have good days and not-so-good ones. Sometimes you’ll feel angry or sad and feel like you have no reason to feel that way.

This is normal. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

4. Be committed to moving on

You can’t fully move on from someone unless you truly want to.

So be honest with yourself. Are you giving yourself the best chance of healing and moving on? Are you fully committed to moving on, or are you secretly hoping he’ll come running back and tell you he made a terrible mistake?

I hate to break it to you, but this kind of stuff usually just happens in movies.

Chances are, he’s not coming back.

If you were meant to be, things probably wouldn’t have ended.

It’s time to commit to moving on with your life to bigger and better things.

5. Journal

I miss him

Dozens of studies have shown that journaling can increase happiness, help you achieve goals, heal from trauma, and boost aspects of your physical and mental health.

Journaling can be very therapeutic and clear out any unresolved feelings or memories and start healing. You may not want to share certain things with anyone else, and no matter what time of day it is, your journal will always be there for you.

Plus, as you begin to heal and move on, you can start journaling about the new experiences and adventures you’re having.

Invest in a beautiful new journal today as a symbol of your fresh start.

6. Get support from family and friends

You likely have people in your life who care about you, who know what’s going on in your love life.

Don’t be afraid to lean on these people in your time of need. They might not have all the answers, but simply keeping you company and listening to you can make a huge difference.

And depending on how intense your previous relationship was, you might not have seen certain people as much as you wanted to. Now is the time to reconnect with those people and nurture those friendships.

7. Give yourself as much time as you need

I wish there were a magic potion you could drink that would miraculously stop you from missing this guy overnight. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work this way!

Moving on and healing takes time, and this will be different depending on who you and how deep your relationship was.

Be patient and give yourself as much time as you need.

8. Learn to enjoy spending time with yourself

After a breakup, you’re readjusting to being on your own again. And although this can feel lonely at first, it’s a beautiful invitation to fall back in love with your own company.

When was the last time you took yourself on a date? Do you even know who you are today or what you like or want?

Enjoy all this alone time you have now, and remember that it won’t feel lonely if you enjoy your own company.

9. Plan things to look forward to

women friends

One of the best ways to move on from someone is to give yourself plenty of other fun things to focus on.

So, start filling up your schedule with new activities, hobbies, and events that excite you. Say yes more to invitations. Focus on making new memories and having new adventures with new people.

Weekend getaways, spontaneous road trips, gigs and festivals, cooking classes, wine tasting nights, lunch, or nights out with your friends.

Now is the time to become a social butterfly.

10. Do all the things that you didn’t when you were together

When you’re in a relationship, there’s always an element of compromise between you to cater to each other’s likes and interests.

Were there any things he hated doing that you loved and didn’t get to do much when you were together?

Maybe it’s something like watching scary movies, sunbathing at the beach, going on exotic vacations, or exploring new parts of your local town.

Do more of the things you love.

11. Set new goals to focus on

After a breakup, you’ll feel like there’s a big part of your life missing.

It may not be the right time to jump back into dating (yet), so use this free time to refocus your attention on a different part of your life.

Maybe you want to work on getting back into shape or eating healthier and feeling stronger. Maybe you want to get ahead at work or in your business. Or perhaps you feel an urge to declutter your house and wardrobe and breathe some fresh air into your life.

Set yourself some new goals to focus on—they can be as big or as small as you like. And when you achieve them, you’ll give your confidence a much-needed boost.

12. Meet new people

group of friends

Meeting new people and being super social right now will make you feel good and help you let go of the past.

It doesn’t need to be in a romantic sense; just make sure you’re making a considered effort to meet new people and make new connections.

The best way to do this is to get out of your comfort zone and do things you wouldn’t normally do.

For example, join a local sports club, visit a museum or art exhibition, hang out in a new bar, try a new restaurant, attend a local meetup in your city, volunteer somewhere. The possibilities are endless!

You’ll inevitably start meeting new men along the way. When the time feels right, be more deliberate about meeting men, brushing up on your flirting skills, and enjoying the freedom of being single. This is step number three of my Little Love Steps.

13. Continue building your confidence

Going through a breakup will inevitably knock your confidence, and it’s difficult to start building it back up if you’re feeling down or worthless.

All of the things on this list will help you slowly rebuild your confidence and get back to a place where you feel comfortable and happy within. The more you commit to these things, the faster you’ll heal and move on.

14. Believe that there is someone better out there for you

The final step to moving and ending those I miss him feelings is to believe there is a better guy out there for you. You just haven’t found each other… yet.

Enjoy where you are today and the beautiful journey this life is taking you on. Trust that when the timing is right, you’ll cross paths.

Are you ready to move on and create a stronger relationship that lasts?

It’s time to quit looking back into your past and commit to moving on and finding a fantastic relationship.

You deserve more than someone who is lukewarm, flaky, and doesn’t recognize your worth.

Believe that.

When you find yourself missing a guy after a breakup, what has been your most successful tool for healing and moving on?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

I miss him

The post “I Miss Him” – Do You Really? Or Do You Just Miss The Idea Of Him? appeared first on Love Strategies.



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